Ohmystinkinheck

Words.

They are powerful.

They can lift our spirits to the heavens or they can tear at our insecurities and leave us stranded, withdrawn, angry and depressed. We each want to be encouraged. A good majority of us WANT our loved ones to verbally encourage and love us in a way that we feel love. The question is, “Do we do give what we want?”

Many of you know Mr. OMSH is a psychologist “head-man”. He’s enlightened me to a world of things, but most especially, not to buy into the pop psychology of the day. Like the Top 40 Hits, it changes - not surprisingly, to match what society wants to hear. Oh how we love to feed ourselves our own brand of truth.

That said, I came across a link that lead to another link that lead to another…and before you know it, I was at a Psychology Today article, Words That Wound.

Brant Burleson, communication professor at Purdue University and Wayne Denton, psychiatrist at Wake Forest University, “found that stellar discussion skills can actually do more harm than good in ailing relationships.”

Huh? Communication can do more harm than good in relationships on the wire?

Let them explain:

“…communication skills in and of themselves don’t make or break a marriage, and men’s skills don’t seem to matter much at all. What’s important is how women use their skills, and whether their relationship is calm or conflict-ridden.”

Did you catch that women?

Let them finish up the point here:

“In peaceful couples, the stronger a wife’s verbal skills, the more her spouse liked her. But in rockier relationships, well-spoken wives used their talent for ‘language and psychology to inflict pain,’ addressing their husbands with especially wounding words.”

Although I won’t say that Mr. OMSH and I are in a conflict-ridden relationship (…unless you want to discuss the race for who can get to sleep FIRST so the other doesn’t have to endure the snoring bear beside them in bed.), BUT it really brings to mind how my words can break him down if I’m not careful. I don’t want to inflict pain or wound. I am a well-spoken woman (if I do say so myself) and do not want to wield that “power” by inflicting pain.

So today I voice a short encouragement to the man I love - here, in my blog. And I have an assignment for you to do so too. If you don’t blog, do it here in the comments. If you do blog, do it at your place and link it in the comments so we can read and be encouraged too.

OH! And if you aren’t married, please still participate - encourage someone you love - your parents, your children, your best friend, your ANYONE.

Today, let’s lift up someone with our words. I guarantee you’ll feel 10 lbs. lighter - maybe even a bit giddy from the love you’ll give.

Jefe,

Baby, you are everything to me. You are my morning, day and night. I look at you and am overwhelmed with thankfulness that I married YOU. You, the man who knows my deepest pain and strangest, most annoying, quirks. You are endless in your desire to get it right. You serve even when I’m selfish and cold. I don’t deserve the energy you put toward me. I see it. I see it everyday. I see you trying. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for us, because without us I couldn’t manage. I just could not. You are strong where I am weak. You are logical where I am emotional. You are enduring when I give up. You ARE the best part of us. My love, forever, is yours.

Love,
-H-

Now readers?
Your turn.

29 Responses to “Words that encourage - an assignment for you.”

1. MR. OMSH

   First to comment, huh? There’s a first, no pun intended.

   Thank you Baby. It’s endearing and embarrassing. What you wrote in your post, I think the same of you (just opposite). When I am weak, you are strong. When I need to have passion, compassion, mercy, and grace, YOU lead the way; both by word and deed. YOU complete me. When you snore, I do not (’cuz I can’t fall asleep). When you cry at Hallmark commercials, I mumble bah-hum-hugs. When I want to smack somebody who lives in our house and is within the age range of 4 to 10, you show mercy. When others offend, you forgive. When I start to tell a joke or launch a sarcastic comment, you complete it.

   I guess what I am saying is that I. LOVE. YOU.

   su jefe

2. Mrs. Wilson

   Oh wow. Love this post. Amazing. Such a good idea! I will do that on my next post. SUCH a good idea.

3. Kim

   I’m going to copy and paste your post. You said it so much better. I mean those things! I just don’t project them as well as I should. Thanks for the reminder. Our message in church today was about pride. I’m hearing you God. Bless the messengers!

4. Sue at nobaddays
   
5. Angela

   Ah, how sweet!

6. Sonya

   Great tribute to your hubby. I’ll try and keep your advice in mind as I am sometimes also cold toward my hubby.

7. Just Beachy

   I had just posted reasons why I love my husband and then came here and read your post. I so agree that we need to encourage and lift up our spouses. I, too, have the ability to cut to the quick when I am really angry, but I have learned over the years to take deep, deep breaths before I speak…

8. Kim

   Posting over at my place. What a good idea, and on our 7th anniversary (today) it’s a great day to do this.

9. Kim

   Ok, so really I’m going to post when DH gets my blog back up and online. We changed domain hosts over the weekend and *poof* all my stuff is gone (but backed up somewhere). So, I’ll write myself a note to post when it’s back online. (Sorry for fibbing!)

10. Holley

    My hubby is Da Bomb!

11. Dutch Blitz » Using My Gifts For Good

    [...] buddy Heather over at OMSH challenged her readers to do a post to encourage someone you love, be it your husband, friend, [...]

12. Angella

    I see your challenge to encourage my husband. And raise you a best friend ;)

13. Vanessa

    Can I do one on here about my boyfriend…errrr, fiance? I just got engaged on Thanksgiving weekend. (Canadian Thanksgiving is in October…so it was on the 7th).

    And is it silly that I’m getting warm fuzzies just typing that?!

14. jenn

    http://jennscrzy.blogspot.com/2007/10/words-that-encourage.html

15. Jill - GlossyVeneer

    That was awesome. I did this briefly for my hubby’s birthday, but I probably should expand upon my thoughts to him. He gets embarrassed when I talk about him on my site though!

16. Steph

    I did this just a few days ago, but I’m sure Bill won’t mind a bit if I do it again. :grin:

17. OMSH

    If you’ve posted a link to your blog entry, I’ve responded there. :)

    Kim - Whenever you can! :)

    Vanessa - I’m glad you’re giddy like that - and yes, feel free to post it here!

    Don’t stop now!
    Anyone else?

    It has been so uplifting just to read these few posts!

18. Lisa

    What great timing! I just started attending a Bible study this week called ‘Marriage Without Regrets’ & have committed to being more uplifting / patient / loving to my husband. I tend to jump the gun sometimes too … & I’m trying SO hard NOT to!
    Like you feel towards your husband, I too could not manage without mine! Not quite sure where I’d be … but I know that I wouldn’t be happy or complete without him. He is my world & to God I am thankful. He has been such a blessing to me … & has provided our daughter the blessing of a stay at home mommy. :) Without him, I wouldn’t have that opportunity. It is amazing to sit back & think of how much he works & how much he does to provide for US, OUR family.
    Thank you for pointing out how we need to take the time & effort to encourage & praise our loved ones.
    *P.S. … I too cry at Hallmark commercials!*

19. Blue Line Special

    [...] ← Words that encourage - an assignment for you. [...]

20. Kami

    I did a thankful post last week that covers a whole bunch of sweet people in my life.

    http://wer4.blogspot.com/2007/09/i-am-grateful.html

21. janjanmom

    Again, your words convict me and call me out of ridiculously bad behavior. Thanks to you and stop stepping on my toes, woman!!

22. Vanessa

    Okay. Here goes. And for the sake of everyone keeping their food down, I have de-sapped some of this.

    Dear Mike,

    I couldn’t be more happy that we found each other. I love the fact that even though things haven’t been perfect, neither of us has ever given up, because we fit with each other. You know my nerdy and weird quirks and somehow, you find them endearing. That may make you legally insane, but I like it.

    The fact that you “borrowed” my daughter’s pride ring to get my engagement ring sized, instead of asking me and giving away what you were up to amuses the heck out of me. Well, it does NOW. Trust me, I really thought I had lost that ring. Thank you for the heart attack.

    I’m insanely grateful that you’re dedicated to your job, and that you enjoy it so much. I’m even more grateful that you’re a man of solid faith, dedicated to God and your family. I’m also glad that I’m going to be part of that family.

    I could go on and on for days, because hey, we just got engaged, but I’ll stop now and just say thank you for being who you are, and loving me like you do. :)

23. Sticks and Stones : Serene and Not Herd

    [...] Stinking Heck, and part of why I started blogging about being a parent, husband, and handyman has a great article on the power of words. How much what we say truly impacts those around [...]

24. Serene and Not Herd

    Sorry I’m a few days late. Still relavent though:

    http://www.sereneandnotherd.com/parenting/sticks-and-stones/

25. OMSH

    Vanessa - As syrupy as that was, I love it anyway. :)

    janjanmom - I’m glad I’m stepping on some toes, b/c mine are bloody from all the damage I’m doing to them!

    Now I’m off to read Serene and Not Herd - who probably has one of the greatest usernames evah!

26. nyjlm

    finally posted mine : )
    http://nyjlm.blogspot.com/2007/10/closer-together.html

27. Suna

    I read NYJLM’s post and was moved to write one too. Thanks for the idea!

28. KYouell

    I did it. Cried all the way through writing it, but didn’t stop and it’s up.

    Words That Encourage

29. KYouell

    Hmm. That link seems to be acting weird. Here it is without tags for your copying and pasting pleasure:

    http://kyouell.blogspot.com/2007/10/words-that-encourage.html