Ohmystinkinheck

Are any of you guys and gals ready for a conversation? I’m actually ready for a conversation - if you are.

I noticed a ping in my comments on Friday’s post, Putting that thing right back where I found it, from Memoirs on a Rainy Day.

Range is actually doing a series on Thought Policing, as you can probably tell by the title of the blog post. As he wrote back…it is a series on policing one’s own thoughts, so don’t think he was coming down hard on me. He’s a fellow blogger, not a rude one by any means, and I actually thought this would make an interesting interchange for anyone interested.

Range writes:

I read this post on OMSH last night. I was a bit taken aback surprised by what I was reading. In the post, Heather mentions that she succumbed into watching an R-rated movie called 88 Minutes (imdb) with Al Pacino.

I saw that movie a few months ago. I didn’t think much of the movie at the time. I enjoyed seeing how all these smoking hot women were fawning all over a decrepit Al Pacino.

As for the violence, it’s pretty common in movies. I rarely look at ratings before watching a movie. Actually, I enjoy watching R rated movies since the content will be more mature. I hate it when cinematographers have to censor themselves while putting a story on the screen.

I responded in the comments, but I’d like your responses too. NOT JUST to Range, but to me too. I noticed a lot spoke up in support, but I know there are readers that don’t think like me. And it is okay to say, “Heather, I don’t agree, because…”. I won’t block you, disregard you, or say mean things about you behind your back. I won’t even send a group of teenagers to fork your yard or wrap your house.

I think conversation is good. Let’s people know where we stand. We are, at present, free in this country. So, what is your stand? Do you agree with Range? Yes? No? Kind of?

And just for the record, I speak for myself, not Mr. OMSH. He takes his own stands and they aren’t always the same as mine, though many times we agree. Either way, we always support each other. I wouldn’t tell him what movie to see, or not see, any more than he’d tell me to drink tea, not a margarita, when we have Mexican food.

35 Responses to “Some interesting feedback on Thought Policing.”

1. Ann from Montana

   I agree - conversation IS good…it is the respectful sharing of opinion and the back and forth that helps us understand our own thinking …and sometimes [for myself] opens my mind to at least thinking about a different perspective to an issue.

   On this particular issue…I have a negative reaction to the semantics, i.e. “thought policing” - but if I put that aside, I DO do that for myself. It is extremely altruistic though. Primarily when I catch myself getting overly angry and mean in my thoughts, I try to turn that around. That kind of thinking is a waste of energy, ultimately makes me feel bad about myself, is completely non-productive in resolving whatever it is.

   I choose to not watch or read overly violent, overly noisy, overly lewd books or movies - but I can’t really say that is a thought policing action…I just don’t enjoy them. I once did. Age???-living a more quiet, rural life and liking a peace and serenity that was different when I lived in the city???

   I remember being in a bible study and a women shared that she had decided not to read romance novels anymore because it seemed to add temptation that she didn’t need. And I remember scoffing to myself - at the time. Mind you, she was very clear that she was talking about herself and not saying that none of us should read that kind of book. I later came to the conclusion that there are times - and it is all very personal - when certain types of things are best left alone.

   I’m a computer programmer - there is a certain “garbage in - garbage out” that works for us humans also. Now, what is “garbage” for me is my choice - what is “garbage” for you is yours.

2. Kim

   I don’t enjoy watching violence or overt sex - and worry that our society is becoming dulled by the vivid presence of this “reality”. This isn’t to say I don’t love good drama, but I can do without the bash and trash that the movie industry deems “good viewing”.

3. chocolatechic

   As I stated earlier, there has to be a line drawn.

   If you begin to say “hey I enjoy those sort of movies” you begin to be desensitized to all things around you.

   I read…crud, I can’t remember where, but it was a news story where military recruiters are seeking out boys/men that have played super violent video games specifically for snipers and SEAL’s as they have become so desensitized to the killing that they can kill another human without thought or their conscience bothering them.

   Same goes with anything we put into our brains through our eyes, or ears.

4. heidi

   I don’t enjoy watching violence in any kind of media. But everyone has the right to turn off the tv, or walk away. What REALLY scares me, (and maybe i’m just being silly) is that there are so many real details in these movies, that i worry it’s inspiring more violence, in so many specific new ways with new people who never would have had access to these methods before.

5. Christina in MO

   at first I was just going to respond.. blah blah blah.. then I read your post. For those who share your values (like me) there is no need to explain. For those who want to stand on the first amendmant and stomp it to death. There will never be a good enough explanation.
   This isn’t a political response to a very soulful post.
   just know.. your right they are wrong.. and one day.. they’ll know it.

6. Angella

   Garbage in, garbage out.

   I think that sums it up. If you fill your mind and soul with garbage, then that is what you are going to become.

   I cannot decide for others what they will do, but for myself? I plan on filling up with the Good Stuff.

7. SparklieSunShine

   This may seem odd, but I actually agree with you. One thing I really can’t stand is violence. I hate hearing about violence and seeing violence. Now…I might go to a rated R movie, but typically it has gotten that rating for some other reason.

   I enjoy going to see PG13 movies, but only because you typically will not get so many preteens in the theater whose parents have dropped them off.

   I don’t share your religious perspective (wow Christina), but I do have values and I know when something I am seeing doesn’t feel right. I can barely ever watch scary movies. I don’t enjoy them and they leave me with a bad feeling. I really am amazed at people who can watch them consistently. I think I have seen maybe 4 scary movies my whole life (including the ones I snuck to watch as a teenager because I wasn’t allowed)and I remember feeling unsettled for days. Maybe that is just me.

   I didn’t mean for this to be quite so long. Sorry!

8. SparklieSunShine

   Oh! Though I do have a different perspective on sexuality being shown and nudity. That sort of thing I don’t mind. I would rather watch nudity than violence any day.

9. heather

   I don’t mind watching violence/sex in movies. Honestly, I’ve been watching rated R movies from when I was a young kid (think 5-6) when my mom was away and my dad would put them on and say “shhh dont tell mom” because he was sick of watching Beauty & the Beast for the 100th time.

   For good or bad, I’ve never been the type that gets so absorbed into a movie/storyline that I think its real. Maybe this is due to my family’s movie viewing style- throughout the movie we comment on the actors/actresses (”is that so-and-so?” “shes a horrible actor!” etc) or the storyline (”Yea, cause that ALWAYS happens like that IRL”).

   Or maybe it could be because none of the violence is ever real looking enough- I swear sometimes if you actually looked at the blood you’d see ketchup. Its really quite amazing how much some special effects people get paid for how fake it looks (not always, but most of the time IMO).

   I’m not desensitized, I just know its a movie and not real life. My brain makes the disconnect. If I see people actually fistfighting in front of me I don’t think its cool (or a drunk man ABOUT to be tazered by the cops- I saw that the other day and I almost threw up/passed out) or that nobody will get hurt- I recognize real vs fake I guess I’m saying.

   I think part of the reason you don’t get more people speaking about both sides of pro/against violence in movies is that the people who don’t mind violence in movies are almost always labeled ‘desensitized’ to it and so its hard to convince people otherwise so if the conversation is leaning against violence in movies the ‘pro’ figure they may as well not even try for fear of being labeled. At least, thats what I thought about. But I think I commented on violence in tv before? And so I figured I may as well add my (long) 2cents to this too ;)

10. range

    Thanks for the mention and for the email exchange. I appreciated it. As always, everyone has a different opinion.

    Everyone is different.

11. Laurie

    Heather, I’m not a pure minded person. In fact I have naughty thoughts a LOT (given they involve my husband) and often give too much information and innuendo in conversations. But when I happen across sex scenes and/or nudity especially of the male kind on a movie it embarrasses me to no end. At first my husband thought it was false modesty but now he’s understanding that it makes me uncomfortable to watch it. I also don’t enjoy an explicit word soaked movie. Given I’m the type that in the past cursed like a sailor and still from time to time let a colorful word out of my mouth it still bothers me when a movie has words thrown in for no reason. I understand that in an emotional scene sometimes a bad word is needed to keep the true essence of the moment. Yet still it seems that anymore they are put there as filler and it bothers me. Especially when it’s a kid saying these quite colorful explicatives.

    On the flip side I too am of the margarita lovers of the world and my husband is a total non drinker.

12. Angie Garza

    I watch R-rated movies based on the actors in them. If I don’t care for the actors, I won’t be first in line to watch the movie. My daughter thinks that since she is 14 years old she is old enough to watch R-rated movies (her thought is that she is OVER 13, so she bumps up from PG-13 to R). She is wrong! I wince at some of the PG-13’s that she is technically old enough to watch.

13. citystreams

    When I was a naive college girl, still a freshman, in fact, I met the man who would become Mr. Citystreams. I wasn’t too sure about him at first. I didn’t think he’d stick around long. I remember the very first time that I realized I was falling for him (because I was slightly surprised by it). We were walking on campus near our football stadium when he told me that he’d made a promise to himself to never watch R rated movies!
    Some turn on, huh? But I really felt at that moment that we were connected in a way that I don’t often connect to other people. We were on the same page.
    It seems without fail, that any time I succumb to watching an R rated movie, I find myself disappointed. I don’t even bother watching them in the theater. And I usually turn the DVD off before we get half way through.
    I can’t stand so much garbage. Morally and verbally it seems that these movies are repulsive 9 times out of 10.
    The problem, for me, is that the trailers always seem so interesting. I want to believe that I will find the good one, this time.

    (Sorry, this is so long. I should make it a blog post instead of a comment!)

14. Schnozz

    To me it just seems like a matter of differing tastes and comfort levels. It’s like discussing whether people should be OK with asparagus or something.

    So I say you’re both right!

15. Kathy

    I watch R-rated movies. I don’t seek them out, specifically, but I don’t avoid them either. I think I’m in a unique position, because growing up, my parents put very few restrictions on what I watched, listened to, or read. I’m not saying that’s right for everyone, but I’d probably do the same.

    As a result, gore-fests hold little appeal for me, and I get most of my subversive plotlines via books these days.

16. Jill - GlossyVeneer

    I don’t mind sex or violence, as long as it isn’t done completely gratuitously. But often, these concepts can portrayed without having to show the explicit imagery on screen.

    I do agree with Range a little, I like it when a filmmaker is allowed to express themselves artistically as they please. That’s part of what makes this country great. But another aspect of why this country is great is that people are allowed to choose whether they watch this stuff, and they are allowed to express their opinions on the subject too.

    This was a great way to invite discussion without (hopefully) inciting rage.

17. Chiada

    There are some R movies that I’ll watch, but most I don’t. And I don’t want to.

    I was talking to Hub-E about this the other day. He saw the movie Conspiracy Theory at the store and bought it, being an old favorite of his. We watched it and I enjoyed it. At the end of it I looked on the back of the box and saw that it is rated R. I was a bit surprised. But after thinking about it, I wasn’t that surprised. I mean, it just goes to show you how our standards are lowered over time. I remarked to Hub-E how this movie that was rated R 10 years ago was much less violent and had less bad words in it than the latest Mission Impossible movie, which is rated PG-13. Wow. Crazy! So, ratings aside, I just have to use my good judgement and rely on my conscience to know when to get up and leave a movie theater or to just not go at all.

18. nancypants

    While I don’t like violence of any kind, in a movie I am okay with violence that is depicting reality… not in the “okay with it - it’s not at all disturbing to me” way… it’s still disturbing. But sometimes I think we need to be reminded of what freedom has cost in the way of lives — many various war movies, for example. Or I think it’s good for us to be reminded of the disgustingly grim realities of the slave trade like Amistad or Amazing Grace. I think these movies do the opposite of desensitization actually, quite unlike movies that are gratuitously violent for the sake of violence. Big big difference.

    As you may have gathered from my comments over at Range’s place, I do not approve of sexually explicit movies. Whereas movie violence bothers me on many levels, the fact is no one actually dies or is injured. Sexually explicit scenes in movies are quite different though as (((news flash))) those people are actually naked with each other — or if not completely naked, very nearly and before the throng of people that are watching them on the screen. I’m no sexually repressed prude… without being guilty of the same sort of publicizing of the bedroom suffice it to say– our bedroom is happily a very busy place full of wonder and secrets. While the actors in a movie may not actually have sexual intercourse there is no question that they are doing things that are meant to be private, intimate and reserved for married people (yup, I’m a Christian who believes in married monogamy.) I wouldn’t invite anyone else into our bedroom to watch us and I think watching scenes like that in a movie is pretty much like being invited to watch someone else’s intimate bedroom moment. It takes something beautiful and intimate and makes it a public spectacle.

    We still watch movies though and sometimes these movies have objectionable stuff in them. Together we share the idea that our sexual realm is to be between us and us alone so if that means fast forwarding through a certain scene in a movie, so be it. Just like we still go to the supermarket even though there are magazines with half naked women on them splayed out at every check out counter, we still watch some movies that have sexual content in them and do our best to skip over the parts that do not help us in our desire to honor each other’s sexual purity, though if we get the feeling that it’s a major theme we will forego the movie completely and have a few times just stopped a movie in the middle because it was clear there was little else to the movie.

    Okay… so this has to be the longest comment here now. LOL

19. range

    Honestly, I don’t really pay attention to ratings when I watch a movie. I judge a movie by its quality, plot and then decide if I like it or not.

    I read a lot as well.

    I watch movies from all over the world. French, German, Hong Kong, Japanese, Korean, American, Spanish, Canadian and others.

    I think great example of good movies are Pedro Almodovar films. I’d recommend them, but I know that some of your readers will find them questionable. I’d recommend Tu su mi madre (All about my mother), Open Your Eyes and Bad Education.

    Trois couleurs: Bleu, Blanc, Rouge was also a favorite of mine. I discovered Irène Jacob. La Double Vie de Véronique was also great.

    Naturally, most of these movies are classified as art-house or foreign movies. Do church-going Americans watch these movies? I don’t know. I don’t really know that many church-going Americans, yet a lot of people reading this blog seem to be.

    I find it important that people shouldn’t close their minds. People need to be open.

    How about gays and gay rights? I’m happily married yet I’m happy that Canada has liberal laws concerning gay marriage. I don’t believe that it’s wrong and I don’t believe that they are living in sin. I do believe that God loves us all. Then again, Christians will likely want to crucify me for saying this aloud. I don’t really know why I said this, but I’m tired of hearing/reading about people who aren’t able to open their minds to the new realities of society.

    Closed minds foster ignorance, a distaste for things that are different. All people are different and we need to embrace these differences, not make them reasons for hating each other.

    Alas, I feel again that I’ve said too much once more.

20. Amanda

    It’s funny that you’re bringing this up again because I thought of your post last night when I got home from Bunco. I attended a Mom’s night out with a friend and almost all the women there were new to me. I had fun, no doubt since I love any party, but I left feeling… different.

    I was the only non-Christian woman there.

    I should state for the record here that I have NO problem with religion or having religious friends (as long as they have no problem with my lack of faith!), but last night I really noticed how different *I* am. I ENJOY raunchy humor (you should see me laugh at South Park!). I like to watch pornography (with my husband!). Even though I try not to, I swear all the time. And I did not hear a single, solitary swear word the entire party.

    It made me a little uncomfortable.

    As a person who’s not religious, it’s difficult to see the sin in watching R-rated movies. I enjoy things that are for ADULTS. I also enjoy things that are for children and I appreciate the purity of such things. (We don’t even let our children watch the news!) But I can honestly say that I look forward to watching South Park with my [ADULT] children some day just like I enjoy watching it with my own father.

    I’m not sure really what I’m trying to contribute here, but I did think of you when I got home last night. How it really would’ve been a great group of friends for you! For me it was a little bit too PG-13. Which is fine, it just made me feel like an outsider.

21. Mr. OMSH

    Ok, let me chime in…and see if I can max out the character limitations for an entry. Just kidding….kind of.

    Desensitization. Let me first recommend that you work in a prison for a while and expose yourself to the depths of human selfishness, pride, arrogance, sin, depravity, and desensitization. Then come back here and make a comment. Until you have experiences like this, cocky of me to say, you are likely NOT qualified to comment on the supportive side of these sorts of things. [I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I am serious when I suggest that you put yourself in a position to see the "worst of the worst."] Psychologically, we all become desensitized…to everything. Think of this: When was the last time you really thought about how big your tongue is? How it fills your entire mouth? How it rubs up against your teeth? The roof of your mouth?

    Now that you’re thinking of how big your tongue is, it feels different. You now notice it. THIS is how we all are with morals, integrity, etc. Apply this to how the generations have changed in parenting since the Depression. Have we become more or less tolerant? Has our society become more or less violent? Are parents more or less scared for their children’s safety and security? Couple this with causations related to humanism, tolerance (in general), and self-esteem, and you have an excellent recipe for failure at the societal level.

    Movies. Movies and these sorts of ‘experiential’ activities are like infidelity. Once you cross a certain threshold, the next time is easier to cross. This is why the Bible tells us to guard against these kinds of evil. This is also why pathetically wealthy people TEND to want more and more…contentment seems to be evasive to some.

    Gay thing [thanks Range]. I agree, God loves us all. He created us. He is holy and righteous. Because of His perfection, imperfection is not permitted in His presence so to speak. Homosexuality is identified as a sin; just like gossip and infidelity. As a result, one who repeatedly and continually lives in sin does not have a repentant heart…and a repentant heart is what is required for a ‘rebirth’–we must die to self and our desires [except for buying a Harley of course] and be ‘born again’ in what Christ did for us. All of this, I believe, is foreknown but committed through our free will.

    The gay issue also has huge ramifications on parenting and family–but I truly don’t want to max out this comment….I suppose that can be for another blog entry (ha-ha).

22. OMSH

    First, I want to say thank you to all who have commented. This wasn’t necessarily an easy comment to make - and some of you really “put yourself out there”…I’m glad for it.

    Next, although I don’t find it is necessary to respond to each and every post, I do want to speak to some of them.

    Before I do that, I want to say two things.

    1. My perspective WILL most definitely be a reflection of my biblical world perspective. My approach to things of this world are absolutely affected and directed by my faith.

    2. Since not one of us is even close to perfection, we will fail miserably in much of our day-to-day interactions with others, but I am saddened that those that SAY they follow Christ can sometimes act in a way that is nowhere close to how Christ lived, walked and taught.

    My intention with this entry was not to judge any of you, but to share my personal convictions.

    I hope that is clear.

    That said, I do want to respond to a couple of entries and pray my comment doesn’t become a mini-novella.

    Ann from Montana - I was one of those women who swore off romance novels for a time. I did not marry a romantic by Hollywood’s standard. It took several years and a bit of eye-opening to see that there is nothing sexier or more romantic than a man mowing the lawn, taking the kids to school or taking out the trash. *smerk*

    heidi - I too believe we can choose to turn off what we don’t want. What is frustrating to me is I LIKE going to movies, but my idea of entertainment is so far removed from those producing the entertainment that there is less and less I care to watch.

    I do worry about the ideas that the movie creatives are planting - and television too.

    Angella - Garbage in, garbage out is what my mother said when I was growing up. I believe it.

    SparklieSunShine - You had me giggling with your “This may seem odd, but I actually agree with you.” I know that you don’t share my “religious perspective” (uggh…I really don’t like the word religion), but I thank you for your willingness to comment.

    I do think it is a testimony to how a movie can affect us when you spoke of being “unsettled” after seeing a scary movie.

    I’m like that too - it really shakes me up and I have a difficult time with burying the images and/or story.

    heather - Oh how I have become so deeply involved with a movie I’ve had to leave to breathe in a hard scene. I can think of at least two movies now.

    My husband, on the other hand, is much less sensitive to that than I am. He’s the one that points out the accidental shadow, the microphone that drops quickly, or the incorrect ranking on military personnel.

    I DO believe people get desensitized. Not just to movies, but in general. Perhaps it is the way the word is used in every situation, or as the argument for every lack of responsibility, that has made it such a frustrating word?

    Laurie - Um…okay, so when it comes to Mr. OMSH all bets are off - we might not pull out the whip, but given the opportunity and a kid-free weekend…

    heh heh

    Angie Garza and Chiada - Movie ratings are definitely on a downward sliding scale.

    Jill - GlossyVeneer - I am also thankful for the freedom to express ourselves artistically. I absolutely believe in free will. I’m just disappointed that movies and television are growing so far away from where I’ll allow my own free will to take me.

    nancypants - I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that by viewing two people having sex, I was condoning those two people being together, in a very intimate way, with someone other than their spouse.

    I don’t think that is a prudish statement. I think that the lack of long-term marriages in Hollywood can attest to how harmful that can be to a marriage.

    range - I will admit to not watching a lot of foreign movies, because I’m language deficient and not always in the mood to “read” my movie. But yes, I have watched a few.

    I honestly don’t think this is a venue for the discussion of gay rights, but I won’t crucify you, of course. God does love us all. Absolutely. I have friends and bloggers I associate with who are gay; I would not decide to like or not like them because they have chosen a same sex relationship.

    The “new” realities you speak of are not so new at all…people have opened their minds for centuries. I have a different world perspective –I can’t embrace what I believe to be a sin.

    HOWEVER, I’m not going to dislike a person, turn up my nose, turn away, or whatever else for their decisions.

    Not wise.
    Not kind.
    Not loving.

    NOT going there.

    And closed minds aren’t what fosters ignorance. Lack of knowledge is what fosters ignorance. An open mind can be truly ignorant if they haven’t filled it with knowledge.

    We do not have to embrace differences to love. We have to love to love. Love is an act, not a fuzzy feeling or an agreement of lifestyle.

    Amanda - Hey, I can get rowdy, don’t mark me off as boring. I seem to be too liberal for the conservatives I know and too conservative to the liberals I know. That’s why I have Jeff. He’s my friend. :)

    He doesn’t play BUNCO though.

    —
    P.S. In case you guys do not know this already - Jeff is a psychologist in the prison system. He counsels the people you hope/pray are never released.

23. almost there

    So I may too late to chime in on this, but….I will anyway :)
    Not only am I shocked at the movies I sometimes see, but some of the previews before the movie are down right frightening! I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow. Feed the flesh and the things of this world will not shock or disturb you; feed the spirit and you suddenly find you don’t fit in anymore.

24. naomi

    conversation and informed debate aren’t just good, they’re fabulous and intellectually stimulating.

    i don’t agree with some of the things you say but that’s ok.

    movies have ratings for reasons. an r rating means that a movie is going to have scenes and situations that are not appropriate for people under 18. when i see that i know that there is going to be nudity, much violence/gore or both. if i don’t want to see that sort of thing, then i don’t go to that movie.

    i can’t blame the movie makers for making such films or for tempting me to see them. i can only blame myself for making the choice to go despite knowing that the rating indicates things i’d rather not inflict myself with. a romantic comedy type is bound to have nudity when the movie has such a rating.

    it truly is a matter of my own choice. i’m not going to blame the film makers, producers, directors or writers for making a movie that i made the decision to see.

25. cc

    When it comes to movies I don’t really pay attention to ratings. i do watch what my kids watch and read what they want to read before they see it. As we rarely venture out to theaters when we do go it is usually for a Disney film. Or for Shawn and I some type of Super Hero one.

    I enjoy reading and watching thrillers, Shawn doesn’t. I enjoy roller coasters, Shawn doesn’t. Our gir;s are the same way. SuperChic likes to watch some of the movies we have that are a little more intense, like Lord of the Rings, Rapunzel on the other hand says she likes them, but doesn’t really watch them.

    There are lots of things that I don’t let them watch or do, and I get the whole you’re mean thing, but that’s ok by me.

    Today I wouldn’t let them go swimming at a neighbor’s because they cuss a lot. I don’t want them exposed to that any more than I can help. Rapunzel told me that “all her friends were going and [I wasn't] being fair.” I asked her if friends were playing in traffic would she want to do that too? She said that they wouldn’t do that because it was dumb, well the language they use is dumb to me but she just couldn’t make the connection.

    Today was a battle of many in a war that will never end. Hopefully they’ll learn to make the better choices in life. That’s all we can ask for.

26. cc

    This is for Mr. OMSH. Have you looked into the “Black Sheep”? They are a Christian Biker Group. you must have a Hog to ride with them. I attend a bible study with a few of them, plus the Pastor of our church is in it too, they are sown to earth Christian’s, looking to spread the gospel.

27. Mr. OMSH

    cc–Never heard of that particular group (until now). Where we live is the headquarters/’Mecca’ for the prison system (there are 14 prison units in our area) and we have multiple groups that are based here or regularly ride through.

    I haven’t joined in any of these reindeer games yet..but would like to. Thanks for the name of the group. I’ll check it out.

28. Jan

    My daughter was only allowed to watch G, PG or PG-13 movies up untill the age of 17, and of course that was only after I had previewd the movies. At the age of 17, (the age of consent in the state we lived in),she started watching R rated movies. Know what she got absolutely hooked on? The blood and gore movies, what I call “garbage movies”. She moved off to college and when I would visit, she had shelves and shelves of “garbage movies”. If we watched movies while I was visiting it was always one I had chosen and rented, because I wouldn’t watch hers. She got her degree, got married, and her collection of “garbage movies” grew and grew. Then something happened. She would call me up, sounding so tired and often crying. Wouldn’t tell me why she was so upset, because she said it was just to painful. So..I flew to see her, because I was alarmed.
    She asked me to do her a favor. Would I please take her collection of garbage movies, put them in a burn barrel and destroy them, every last one of them. She said she couldn’t stomach to touch them. I asked her why? She again hesitated, and then said she had seen something on the internet that had hurt her so physically and physchologically, and she would never watch another “garbage movie” as long as she lived.(by this time she was 28 and had just gotten her first computer) So…I took her collection to a nearby office of a friend with a paper cutter…my friend and I cut and broke those CD “garbage movies” in two, for the better part of 2 1/2 hours. I took them to a recycling center and they said they couldn’t accept them, so I took them to a reclaimation center and paid for them to take them off my hands.

    My daughter went into counseling and is now doing very well indeed, thank you very much!

    What did she see on the internet that so disturbed her and made this dramatic change, you might well ask? The reality that is life. The beheading of Nick Burg.

    And now she knows she has to be very careful and selective on the internet as well.

    Some folks can handle this stuff. Some folks can’t. She thought she could untill reality reared it’s head and showed her what it was all about.

29. Lisa

    I agree that having a biblical worldview colors every perspective I have as a Christian [which I define as agreeing with the sovereign, holy Creator of the universe that I am a sinner, and accepting the one-and-only Way (Jesus) He provided to be reconciled to Him--not necssarily as being a church-goer or religious]. Consequently, what God tells me in the Bible about what He wants me to be watching–or not–has a big impact on my decisions.

    BTW, if anyone has not actually read through the Bible and is not afraid of all of the sex and violence contained in it, I highly recommend giving it a try.

30. Liz C.

    I subscribe to the idea that I am not an animal. I am primarily an immortal soul, having a series of experiences in a physical body. As an immortal soul, I do not need to be driven by animal passions–I have the option and opportunity to refine my desires and my actions, and live a life of compassion, action, and joy.

    Having that view of life, it was a shocker to me when, early in our marriage, my DH pointed out that my collection of steamy romance novels were the same sort of pornography as his small stash of Playboy magazines.

    Yeah. I didn’t like to think about my own hypocrisy there.

    But he tossed his stash, and I quit reading my stash, and things improved shortly thereafter. Cleaving unto each other, oddly enough, was meant to be All The Way… physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

    Self-censorship? I’m all for it. Wallowing in the excesses of what is *possible* in the human experience does nothing to elevate us beyond base animal drives.

31. OMSH

    Liz C. - I really liked this: “But he tossed his stash, and I quit reading my stash, and things improved shortly thereafter. Cleaving unto each other, oddly enough, was meant to be All The Way… physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.”

    Jan - Wow…just, wow. First, that she could watch an actual, REAL be-heading online. Next, that you responded so lovingly and knowingly.

    naomi - I do believe that personal responsibility is the key. I do not blame the filmmakers if I see a movie I shouldn’t have seen; I blame myself. I do, however, wish there was more quality movies though. For that, I blame the filmmakers.

    almost there - I haven’t fit in for a long time, but I think now it goes a bit beyond the fact I’m an odd bird and I’ve added living out my convictions on top of it.

32. JackieW.

    Rented Enchanted for 1$ & watched it twice. What an adorable movie.

    Watched I Am Legend & had nightmares even though I could tell the bad guys were computer generated. It is rated PG-13.

    Ds1 is 22 & watches, buys & re watches Saw I-IV,300…

    I rent from a machine cause I don’t want to go into a video store & see those creepy, almost demonic slasher pics leering at me. Research what we want to see then use the video vending machine.

33. Stefani

    Forking? Huh. I don’t even know what to say about that :-) Who knew the dictionary could necessitate a cold shower?

    As background: We don’t watch TV. Haven’t in about 8 months. We have Netflix, and use it to rent mostly classics and vintage Disney. My kids are way into Leave it to Beaver right now, the last movie I watched was “Once”. We don’t go to the movie theater often, and when we do it’s usually a family movie.

    The violence and in your face lewdness bothers me, yes, but it isn’t just that. It’s the fact that none of it is done WELL. Sex is great (at least it was meant to be)! Violence exists. I don’t think it is wrong (in an adult context) to explore those issues through film, but it seems like that’s not really what’s going on for the most part.

    Movies are no longer about story telling, about making people think, about the hard choices and messy business of life… it’s about sensationalism and box office sales. Period. It’s about the dumbing down of our culture…. throw in some hot sex, blow some stuff up, add in lots of cuss words and raunchy humor, charge $8 a head and you’re golden.

    I’m just saying, give me a story that makes me think, challenges me, is done artfully, and if it must raise issues about sexuality and violence fine, but if it’s just mindless crap, I’ll pass.

    And most of it is.

    We are Christians, true, but I don’t think that makes us prudes. The Bible itself is incredibly violent and involves all sorts of variations on sexuality, bit it’s there for a REASON. It’s meant to be illustrative of our history, and our beliefs. It’s meant to make real the struggles of humanity and the greater plan of a loving God. It has a purpose.

    That’s my gripe, most of the junk on television and in the movies has only two purposes:
    1) to make money
    2) to appeal to the baser instincts of a numb generation.

34. naomi

    oh, quality…what i wouldn’t give to have movies like cassablanca, the color purple, the big sleep, and such like. *sigh*

35. Rachel

    I’m wondering if you saw “Atonement” and if so, what did you think of it?