Ohmystinkinheck

I have a strong need for order in my life. Not perfection (although that’d be nice), but order. For years I have taken great pains to create order in my environment. When I worked out of the home, my office was organized, even furniture arranged, for the most efficient use of space. My car has a place for CDs, a place for pens, even a small container for pennies that don’t have their own slot in the console. My clothes are nicely folded in my drawer and in my closet and my clothes all hang facing the same direction - left. Each night before I go to bed I straighten up the kids’ covers they’ve kicked to the bottom of the bed, pull them up around them - tucking them in tight, lock the doors, and leave the light on over the stove.

If I have ever worked on your website you’ve had a neatly arranged directory on my hard drive that identically matched whatever I put up on your server - just in case you made any accidental errors on the site/web page. When the job was complete, I zipped it up and depending on the work, might have kept it for 3 to 6 months before deleting it.

When the kids’ start school I keep the family schedule. The where, when, what and who of our lives are managed by me and, for the most part, I do fairly well.

However, since as far back as I can remember, I have never successfully managed this one thing.

I have never successfully managed my food intake or my weight. I’m not talking the roller coaster ride of 5, 10 or even 20 lbs. At least not for the last 15 years or so. I’m talking 50, 60, 70+ lbs. - the worst kind of extreme weight loss/gain cycle you can imagine. My “forever thorn” in my side has been the relationship I have with food.

In the arena of food I have had absolutely no order. No balance.

I briefly tried to introduce this subject to you guys back in February. At that time I had successfully managed Weight Watchers for nearly 3 months and there was this small glimmer of hope that I might actually make it to my goal. Within 4 weeks of that blog post I knew I wouldn’t. Eight weeks from that blog post I had gained all I had lost, and then some. I can’t do diets. I CANNOT. I need a gradual, healthy move to weight loss. One year, two years, three years or more would be fine. I just want to get there.

I have to get there.

And? After years of failure, I have absolutely no confidence I can.

This is the oddest thing for me. With anything else put before me I’m quite certain - even confident - I can make it happen. But not this one thing. I’ve allowed my history to dictate continued failure.

To speak of a lack of control in any area of one’s life is hard - very hard. It is admitting an addiction. I have an addiction - and that addiction is my unhealthy relationship with food. I use it for everything - sustenance, socializing, therapy, and boredom. My food consumption has consumed my health, my opportunities, and my sense of self.

Please understand that I’m NOT saying I hate myself. I don’t. I believe that each day is a new day to grow into the person that God created me to be. I’m not disappointed with my person - it is a work in progress. Some days I do a decent job and some days I stumble so badly I think I’ll never get back up - but by the grace of God I do.

But this thing … this obesity, it is too much.

I want to be healthy. I want to bring order to this area of my life.

The first thing I feel I need to do is be honest - deeply honest - with myself and with you. I’m a big girl internet. I’m sure that is evident in some of the Blogher shots I was unable to avoid. I’m not sure how big yet, but big enough.

I plan on buying a scale tomorrow so I can face the “just how big” part. Isn’t it convenient that I don’t have a scale? And then, each week I will face it again and again and again - with my camera pointed at that dial and you guys on the sidelines.

I need to do this publicly - with a heightened level of accountability.
If I don’t I’ll be 300 lbs. in another year. I just know it.

I want to live, not hide.
I want to be healthy.
I want balance.

I want a full sense of order to my life.

I want you guys to come along for the ride as supporters; if you’re willing.

And? I promise I’ll only post about weight once a week. Any more and I’d grow too weary of it. Any less, and the accountability I need won’t be there. I don’t want this to be a weight loss blog. It is a personal blog though - and this is a personal trial I’m adding to the rest of the brain spews here.

Hugs and kisses to Carmen for having walked this path successfully. Thanks for bugging me by asking what I’ve eaten and what I’m doing for exercise. You’re an inspiration!

51 Responses to “Order in the (food) courts!”

1. whoorl

   I’ll be your supporter through and through. I know you can do it! :)

2. Bethany

   OMSH, I think you are really brave to talk about this! I have similar problems but I don’t like talking about them to anyone but my mom and my husband. They just seem to private. I will be supporting and praying for you, and hoping you’ll inspire me, too!

3. Bethany

   Uh, that should be too private. Also, too anal to ignore a spelling error in a comment. :-)

4. jessica

   You hang in there, sugar. I have faith in you. And if on a certain day, you eat something in a portion you shouldn’t have, just eat the right portion at the next meal. You are human - give yourself a break. You are a highly successful, attractive, compassionate, wonderful person, and I very much value you no matter what your size. But, I understand what you’re saying - it’s a health issue - and I’m 150% behind ya, sister! Now make me so happy and proud I wet mah knicks! Hee!

5. Sarah

   Ooh I will cheer you from the sidelines! I think it must be universal because I feel the same way, and I once nannied for a woman in Israel (well, her kids!) who said to me that she just didn’t understand it, because she would never eat something that wasn’t kosher, no matter what the temptation it just wouldn’t happen, so how could she have such strong self control over food for kosher reasons but complete lack of self control over the same food for any other reason - well I don’t have the kosher issue but I now TOTALLY get what she meant! Almost the same thing as you mean ;) Anyway I love your refreshing honesty, you are very brave, I had thought about doing something similar on my blog but figured it would just make it all the more embarrassing when I failed - you are obviously ready to be deadly serious by going public so good on you! Ack what a long-winded comment. I hope it made SOME semblance of sense.

6. Mom2Six

   Best wishes! My mother also struggles with this, and does best when accountable to someone.

   Cheering you on!

7. Mrs. Flinger

   I just JUST started a “fitness” portion to my website that you have to log in to because *I* need honest feedback. I have thirty pounds to lose and that’s not being unrealistic or bulimic or something (and I, too, am deeply anal about websites I design and, well, anything and everything). So please! Come join us? If you want, I mean. I mean, I’d be honored to be part of your support group and you part of mine. I found you on twitter and OHMYSTINKIGGOODDD you’re awesome. And that’s an honest comment right there. :-)

8. Jennifer/The Word Cellar

   I like order, too. Unfortunately, I tend toward disorder and chaos in every area of my life, including food. I constantly struggle to clean up the clutter around (and inside of) me. And I’m also trying to lose at least 50 pounds by reorganizing my food and exercise habits. So if you’re ever feeling down and need someone to say “OMSH I know just what that’s like!”, give me a call, sister.

9. margalit

   I’m officially signing on as your biggest cheerleader. This year I finally took a good long look at myself, similar to you, and shed over 60 lbs. I’m at a freaking plateau now, because I eat so little that my body believes it’s starving (it is not) and it has just decided not to drop another ounce. Because I can’t exercise due to health problems, it’s very hard to break through the plateaus, but I vow that if you keep me laughing through your struggle, that I’ll be right along side you hopefully losing right along with you.

   As added incentive? You get to buy all new underpants once you’ve lost a dress size or two! Nothing like new undies to perk you up!

10. Annika

    Everything about me is UNorganized. Everything. I eat good food but I eat too much of it. I forget (forget!) to get enough exercise. Or, you know, any. I don’t recognize myself in pictures. So I’m in, I’m with you, let’s kick this thing in the behind.

11. Robin~

    oh, honey, I am so with you. In the wake of my impending divorce (which I am good with now), I have taken on losing the 70+ lbs I’ve been carrying throughout the marriage. It’s been scary and amazing all at the same time. I’m down 25 lbs in 3 months and it has actually been pretty easy. The best tip I got was from a program on PBS with Dr. Christiane Northrop (my girly-parts heroine) who recommended weighing yourself EVERY DAY! EEK!! but you know what, it’s been good. I’ve gotten a sense of my bodies weight patterns, how I loose a bit just before my period and then gain a bit and then loose more after my period (and the same with ovulation times).

    You feel free to email me anytime that you feel like stuffing your face with something yummy that your body totally doesn’t want, ok??

12. Cyn

    First, I want to say that what you have admitted to is the first step. It’s a huge thing to admit something like this. second, don’t buy a scale. buy a tape measure. or use one you probably already have. weight isn’t as important as what your mid section measures. Then, I would recommend purchasing this book:
    http://tinyurl.com/29jjnu
    it could possibly be life transforming. It was for me, anyway.

13. Angella

    You do whatever you need to do to feel healthy and good about your body. I’ll be cheering you every step of the way!

14. Aileen

    It’ll be hard… but you are right. You don’t want to just “diet.” Diet is “die” with a t at the end. You need to do a lifestyle change. Soemthing gradual. Smaller portions, moving more. The scale might help if you don’t end up putting a bullet through it. You can do this!! I know you can!! But I know it’s important for overall health and to feel better about ourselves to keep a tight rein on the food addiction. For what it’s worth… I think you’re beautiful just the way you are. I’m not just trying to get back in your good graces because I’ve dubbed you “Stinky.” It’s a term of endearment!

15. Laura/PinkFontGirl

    *hugs*

    got faith in you, gal?

    (also? for exercise? you’re welcome to come work your organizational voodoo on my house! isn’t that nice of me?)

16. Nadine

    We’re opposites! My house usually is in a state of chaos (though I’m doing better, my cottons swaps are NEVER that organized!), but my weight is usually pretty balanced.

17. Toni

    Oh my gosh, I could have totally written this post, except some days I do feel hatred towards myself. But, I really work not to because it is a journey.

    You don’t know me but you have my support and I am going to try to make this commitment for myself as well. I look forward to following your progress!

18. MMM

    You rock for doing this! And I’ll totally be supporting and praying for you!!

19. blackbird

    I’ll be here to cheer you on…GO!

20. carmen

    WELL, you already know that I think you are amazing.

    I’ll be emailing you later - count on it.

21. Jill - GlossyVeneer

    I wish you luck in this! You are so brave and you’ve got a lot of people here that think you’re great and are cheering for you! We just want you to feel good and be happy.

22. Sandra

    Oh, I so relate to this post except… that my issue is money. I have no control over my spending. Money is my addiction. When I’m happy, sad, bored, lonely, etc. I spend. Buying something, anything, makes me happy. It’s my hobby and my vice. Different vice, same addiction and although not threatening to my health, definitely not healthy. I am working on it, kinda. But I really need to face the reality and get serious about it. Luckily I got rid of all credit cards a long time ago so I haven’t racked up more debt. So I support your fight against unhealthy eating and I’ll try to join you in fighting against unhealthy spending.

    And one suggestion. If you get a chance, read the book You: On A Diet. Extrememly informative read about how food works in your system and how to make your body work with you and not against you when losing weight. It is about changing your lifestyle in simple, doable, easy steps. Even though I’m not trying to lose weight, I really enjoyed the book and learned alot (and I already knew alot) about nutrition and our bodies.

    Hugs and tons of support coming your way.

23. C

    You’ve identified a great starting point, by getting the scale to where you’re really at.
    While numbers shouldn’t be a source of obsession, it helps to make the goal measurable, whether it’s lbs, or dress size or inches lost, etc.
    You have been able to maintain remarkable order for so many others, it can’t hurt to give yourself a little of that goodness!
    Good luck and I’m totally in favor of you being “accountable” on your blog!!
    :)

24. MMM

    PS- I NEVER make the goal bigger than 2-5 lbs at a time. For example, I don’t say I want to lose 30lbs. That seems WAY to big of a number. I say I want to see the scale go down 2lbs. Then when it does, it is SUCH a great feeling, then I do that again! It makes the BIG goal much less scary.

25. Epiphany Alone

    I too have been loving Carmen’s website, and struggling with the “I have to get serious about this” issue for far too long myself.

    Carmen wrote about goals earlier this week and I thought, gee, I’d like to see my feet. I mean, I think it’s AWESOME she runs. I don’t see myself doing that. This week, I signed Lauren up for soccer (she’s almost 5) and there was a box that said “Volunteer to be a coach” and I laughed. I’d like to be fit enough that that idea doesn’t seem preposterous.

26. carmen

    EA, my goal at the beginning was to be able to walk up the steps without stopping to breath. Seriously. A mile walk took 30 minutes, with about 2 million stops to catch my breath.

    Heather, you know I love you more than my luggage. (Points if you can tell me where that comes from…)

    Make the goals teeny tiny. Get through one day at a time. But you’ve got to just say, “I am now a person who does some form of exercise every day of my life.” Otherwise, it’s too easy to say, “Well, I’ll do it tomorrow”, and then tomorrow never comes.

27. Holley

    Right there with you sister. I would like to lose the 60lbs I’ve gained in the last 18 years. So my daughter and I are training for a marathon. Hers 5k, mine 1k. I’m starting out at a 1/4 mile goal running on my treadmill and walking 3/4. Need to lose mine for my health (and my jeans don’t fit well). I’ll be there for you every step. Slow and easy.

28. Kristin

    I’ll be here cheering you on!!! I know already that you’ll inspire me to work harder to loose what I need to loose too. On with the adventure!

29. Carole

    OMGosh…I am sitting here crying, because you just summed up me…my struggle since I was 9 when the Dr told my Mom, in from of me,..when you treat her sisters..give Carole a apple. ( ok I was maybe like 5-10 lbs over weight then, not a huge deal!

    I have always wondered what it was in me that “made” me this way.
    Family comments
    Enviroment
    genes

    I have just submitted to the fact it is the genes I was dealt. ( But I KNOW this is my cop-out)

    Please please please move closer, because i SO need a weight loss, lifestyle makeover buddy!

    Lots of love to you!
    Carole

30. Annie

    You are so brave. Weight loss is so hard and so emotional. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. I wish you the best of luck and I’m happy to cheer you on!

31. OMSH

    whoorl - Thank you - I don’t have the confidence I once had that I can manage this, which is why I’m outing myself in such a big way.

    Bethany - I have not liked talking about this even with my husband. He too has watched the cycle over and over and over. I know he tires of the empty commitments. It is private, but private hasn’t worked … so public it is. Please pray for me - I’ll need it.

    jessica - I’ve given myself quite a number of breaks! HA! No seriously, I know what you mean. That is why I said this has to be a lifetime change. I’m not sure how long it’ll take, but I do feel like a successful, and at times, compassionate, person. Thank you for not using my size to determine my value. But as you said, yes it is a health issue. I appreciate the 150%, but mostly I want to make you wet your knicks! HA!

    Sarah - Brave? Maybe. It is terribly embarrassing. Wait ’til I find out my weight - I’m sure I’ll nearly keel over from the embarrassment of it all. However, fat is fat … and I have pounds of it hanging off me. It isn’t as though it is hidden. It isn’t any suprise when I openly confess to the need for weight loss, so I feel I can’t be anything BUT honest at what is staring me straight in the face when I look in the mirror.

    Mom2Six - Thanks for the cheers. Accountability, I do believe, is key.

    Mrs. Flinger - You are entirely too kind … especially since I’m sucking wind at keeping up with twitter. I’ll check out your website just as soon as get my head about me.

    Jennifer/The Word Cellar - It is always good to know that someone can commiserate, thank you. :)

    margalit - My biggest cheerleader? REALLY! That is so cool. Should I send pom poms? heh heh! YOU SHED OVER 60 lbs.? I want your testimonial. I want details. Tell me everything. I always hit a plateau somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks and it sticks for about 4 weeks. THAT will be a hard time, but I’m going to have to trudge through - same as you. :)

    And the idea of new undies is great, b/c I purchased oversized ones previous to Blogher and I have to roll them down twice to fit. TWO TIMES. I know - I could totally and completely go buy another $6.00 pair of white cotton granny panties, but my personal desire to not purchase more big momma undies is keeping me from doing so.

    Annika - I don’t recognize ME in photos either. I see all that “extra” and I remember what I looked like under it, 60 or 70lbs. under it. Even then I wasn’t happy with my body, but happier with my overall health. I’m so glad that you want to kick it too! I’m so glad to know I’m not going to be alone in this stinkin’ journey of mine.

    Robin - Really? Weighing every day. I’m worried about getting scale obsession. I thought that maybe every time I want to eat something I shouldn’t, I should go outside and walk around the block. Heck, I could walk 7 miles a day if I did that! HA! Congratulations on your current weight loss - way to go. I’m loving hearing about all the success around me. It is inspiring. Thank you.

    Cyn - How about a scale AND a tape measure. It is all part of my total honesty thing. I’m even going to add in clothing sizes. I am telling you guys ALL of it. NO MORE SECRETS. I won’t have to hide behind my camera when everyone already knows what to expect on the other side of it.

    Thank you for the book recommendation. I’m going to get out tonight and look for it at my local bookstore.

    Angella - Thank ya - I’m lovin’ the new cheering squad.

    Aileen - I almost thought you weren’t going to call me stinky today. I was about to be disappointed. No bullets through the scale, I promise. Okay, I “kinda” promise. Do BBs count?

    Laura/PinkFontGirl - my organizational voodoo often requires YOU working and me supervising. Bwahahaha! Nah, I’m too much of a control freak to let anyone else do the job. And yes, you are too, too kind. Thanks for the support. heh heh

    Nadine - Opposites Attract!

    Toni - I’m really happy to hear that others are willing to admit the same thing. I do want you to track me in my progress and I’m glad to hear I won’t be alone in my commitment. Actually, that is a support in and of itself - knowing others are going to walk alongside me … even if it is miles away!

    MMM - Yes, please do pray. I need some of that supernatural strength to beat this demon. I’d like 2 lbs a week. At my weight that shouldn’t be hard for a long while. I’ll make reasonable goals, don’t worry.

    blackbird - :) Thanks *hugs*

    Carmen - What can I say - thank you. Lovin’ you lady.

    Jill - GlossyVeneer - YOU have unintentionally been a thorn in my side lady. Only because I know you’ve been doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I kinda like your thorny side. :)

    Sandra - Oh! That is fabulous. Not the spending addiction, but that you perceive it so honestly in your own life. Good. I’ll take your support and I’ll BE a support. Thank you for the suggestion - you’re the 3rd person that has mentioned that book (one above). I’ll be getting it.

    C - I do need measurable goals - it flows with my sense of order. At first I didn’t think so, but I think that was more related to not wanting to know than to the actual wisdom behind gauging my success by clothing size alone. I’m laying it all out on the line.

    Epiphany Alone - I can see my feet, but I’d like to be able to get off the floor without grunting. I’d like to one day run and no tear every ligament out of my knees in the process. I’d like my feet to stop swelling and I’d like to lose some of my middle so I’m not such a potential for a heart attack.

    Carmen - Thanks for keeping the expectations real. And *der* STEEL MAGNOLIAS! Yes, I will exercise. I promise. Everyday. Man, that really sucks.

    Holley - My jeans literally roll. ROLL down. Why? My gut. It pushes it. That same gut doesn’t like to move too fast. So, I’m totally “getting” the slow and easy approach.

    Kristin - I am not sure I’ll fit the role of inspiration, but at the very least you can say, “I don’t want to get that far along” when you listen/read about my struggle.

    Carole - It is a cop-out. Don’t believe it. We can’t buy into it. We also can’t buy into an ideal body weight/size that isn’t right either. I don’t have to live in Chicago to be a makeover buddy, but maybe I’ll be back there next year and we can MEET and check each other’s progress.

    I will tell more stories about weight and childhood and teenage years and talk about those things no one says. I will. I need to. Keep reading.

    Lots of love to you too.

    I’m overwhelmed with all of y’all. Thank you. I can’t thank you enough. xoxoxoxoxox

32. OMSH

    Annie - You wrote during the 15 minutes it took me to respond to everyone! :)

    Thank you - it is hard. This is quite possibly like opening my heart and letting you all walk in and see the puny parts I want to hide.

    I appreciate the support and understanding.

33. Bethany

    You know how, when you admit that you’re a sinner and you need God’s grace, you feel relieved that you don’t have to try to do it on your own anymore? I hope that is what this making-it-all-public thing is like for you! I will be praying for you, don’t you worry about that. :-)

34. bethany actually

    Oops, that was me up there, I just forgot the actually. :-) I guess this is my can’t-comment-just-once entry?

35. Jill - GlossyVeneer

    I’m glad I have served as a source of motivation. It means a lot to me. Honestly.

36. stephanie

    I’ll be here for support and inspiration. (I mean…me getting the inspiration from you!) This is awesome and so courageous of you.

37. Vanessa

    So…I’m not the only one that sometimes avoids shopping when things stop fitting, mostly because its scary to imagine what size I’m going to need? God, I hate that. As someone who was a hardcore jock through elementary and high school, having extra weight on me is driving me bonkers, but I haven’t got the balls to get up and do anything about it. My guess is that its mostly because of fear of failure. Maybe I’ll start working on it too. I’m moving to a new place soon, a new part of life is starting…I just might decide to be accountable to the Internet too!

38. OMSH

    Bethany - or is it bethany actually ??? hahaha … I do like that faith analogy - it applies well.

    Jill - GlossyVeneer - smoooooch. Longer than you think. You and your stinkin’ healthy eating habits. :)

    stephanie - you are too kind, really. And? Thank you. (((((hugs)))))

    Vanessa - Try thinking you wear an 18, and then finding out the size 20 is snug in the waist. Uh huh … AT LANE BRYANT. That’ll get you looking at things differently.

39. leahpeah

    gOOOOOOOOOOOOd! why do you have to be so right on and of sound mind and practical and endearing?? i don’t overeat. i don’t eat. mostly because i’m never hungry because all my systems have effectively shut down. but i’m too tired to exercise and until i do, i won’t get anything moving again and i won’t ever shed pounds. it feels too hard but now that i see you being so awesome about taking it on, i think i might have to, too. thanks a lot. (seriously. thanks a lot)xo

40. Ang in TX

    Okay, I grow veggies, farm fresh eggs, and 3-omega meats… give up the fast food, come help me hoe a row this fall and I promise you… YOU will reach a desirable weight. Thin is not always beautiful! My mom is round and I would be disappointed if she was anything like a pencil.

41. jess

    I love you the way you are. I know this can be an insult. But, you are so beautiful. So welcoming.

    I support you and i will kick your ass with questions. As long as that is what you want. If it becomes a burden or hard, just let me know.

    xxoo

42. Laura/PinkFontGirl

    oh, that was totally supposed to say “got faith in you, gal!”….not a question mark. heee. (*realized nearly 24 hours after the fact, but still! :P)

43. OMSH

    leahpeah - I understand the system shut down thing. I have a tendency not to eat until close to bedtime. I used to eat a lot - and I CAN eat a lot, but not always.

    It is how I eat and how I don’t move that is killing me.

    Thanks for the kind words and support though - seriously means the world to me.

    Ang in TX - I have gardened in my grandparents’ garden, we have chickens in the backyard, and I know exactly what it means to have your own meat; though we don’t right now. AND IT IS HARD work. I think we may be doing a garden ’round here this next season … so I’ll be grabbing the hoe with OMSH man. I may contact you for tips.

    jess - That is not an insult. It is meaningful and loving and kind. It is everything that you’ve shown yourself to be. Thank you.

    And yea, feel free to kick me around. I need it. I’ll need it.

    Laura/PinkFontGirl - I know. :) heh heh

44. Tanya

    Just when I think I can’t adore you even more, you post something like this.
    I myself am in the beginning of losing 80 pounds under Doctors orders. I have tried diets and they don’t work for me either. I too eat for all the wrong reasons.
    But I will be one of your biggest chearleaders in this - we can do it together! I can’t wait to see how you tackle this with your usual insight and amazing wit.

45. OMSH

    Tanya - Doctors orders? What is the doctor requiring under orders? Come to think of it I could have gone to see a doctor. The last doctor I saw told me I was the healthiest fat woman he had ever seen. I took it as the compliment I’m sure he intended it to be. *wink*

46. Tanya

    You are so cute!
    My doctor had a long talk with me about the fact that I am 5′6″ and 230 pounds (well, I have lost 7 since then. Go me!). I have great blood pressure, but my cholesterol is 212 which puts me at risk, especially since my family all have high everything and take all kinds of meds. So, I too am worried about the effects this will have on me if I don’t do something about it now. Especially since I would like to have children at some point!
    Again - I am cheering you on darling. The only reason it’s working for me is that it is not a “diet” it’s a “life change”.

47. OMSH

    Tanya - Hey, 7 lbs. is a lot of weight! And yes, a “life change” is right.

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49. slawebb

    I looked at those pictures and you are beautiful! I just wanted you to know that.

    I don’t know what book Cyn recemended (the link didn’t work for me) but I would say “Body Clutter” by Marla Cilley (FLY Lady) & Leanne Ely (Saving dinner) is a life changing book. It really makes you look at why & what you eat. Grab a pen & notebook and actually write the answers to the questions. It will change your life. It is hard but you can do it!

50. OMSH

    slawebb - I’m making lists of all these books. Thank you for the kind words and the recommendations!

51. Lanna

    I totally skipped through most of the comments because I’m a bit too spacey right now, but how about using a pair of pants to see where you’re at instead of a scale? Unless you need the numbers there staring you in the face (which, yeah, sometimes I do, but then I just walk into BB&B and “test drive” one of theirs before walking back out or hop on the “accurate” one at the gym).