Ohmystinkinheck

Okay y’all, I gotta ‘fess up. I’m sick. There. I said it. Let the healing begin. For three days now, maybe 4, my nasal passages - all the way down my throat and into my upper chest, have burned. I’m consuming Alka Seltzer Cold and Flu every night before bed, which means I’m really sick, because the whole “plop plop fizz fizz” sets me to gaggin’.

I’m not very grown up about taking my medicine.

SAJ sent me some major lovin’ by drawing me up a sick OMSH and I’m putting her up. Isn’t she the cutest, yet most pathetic, thing?

In light of the crud, I’m digging into my previous blog’s database archives I’ll never upload I’ve yet to upload. These brought a smile to my face.

Allowance - Posted 3/23/2006

Jeff received the following letter from Emelie after a short discussion about allowance.

Short version of conversation - the girls want an allowance and Jeff told them to talk about it and get back to him with how much allowance they feel they should have.

Daddy,

We talked about how much we want in a week and we want $10.00 a week. At first I wanted $5.00, but Meredith wanted $11.00. So now we want $10.00 a week.

Emelie

Shortly after Jeff shared this note with me I wrote him my own note and attached it to their note. It said:

eff,

Ditto.

Love,
-H

penis not included - Posted 4/4/2006

*bidda-beep-bidda-beep-bidda-bidda-beep-bidda-beep-beep-bidda*

THIS JUST IN! Mother’s ring slides into tub! Seconds later, Mother launches product development for a new tub distractor toy!

RING AROUND THE PENIS! Bath toys for BOYS
(Suitable for Ages 2-4)

“It wiggles - it giggles - it dances - it prances - and best of all, it keeps young boys occupied while their evil mother scrubs grime from their hair and behind their ears!”

Who knew a silver and gold band could be so much fun?!

Disclaimer: Penis not included. Beware of ring sizes 5 1/2 or smaller on circumcised males - product should be removed prior to dislodging child from tub decreasing probability of ringstuckdom - ear plugs may be necessary if rings slide off during hair washing and child becomes aware they are covered in cleansing bubbles - cease usage for children ages 5 and up.

9 Responses to “No more plop plop, fizz fizz!”

1. bethany actually

   Aw, the sick OMSH monster looks so sad. I hope you and he are both better soon!

2. MR. OMSH

   Question. Is OMSH a male or female? I’ve always thought if IT as a HIM. There’s that patriarch-ism in me that flares up every-now-and-then!

   I’ve just got to know: HIM or HER. Do tell.

3. MR. OMSH

   World, you know that saying, ‘If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy’? Well is this house, this saying is true: ‘If Momma is sick, Daddy ain’t sleeping.’ No further comment; pleading the fifth…

   Baby, I hope you get better soon (and not just for my sake).

4. Aileen

   Allowance: LOL

   If he’s giving the kids moolah… you should get some of it too!! :)

   I look forward to the allowance discussion someday. I plan to make the kids do a presentation, complete with powerpoint slides, pleading their case. Or do you think that could be considered child abuse?? It will be a good way for them to sharpen their public speaking skills.

   Get well soon Stinky!! Make sure you gargle with warm salt water and inhale the scent of garlic.

5. Kami

   Sick OMSH IS the cutest - Yay SAJ!

   Hope you feel better real soon - cute stories of allowances and tub “toys”

   :-)

6. Mrs. Wilson

   Aww! Being sick SUCKS! But your previous posts were amusing!

7. Angella

   Aw :(

   Hope you feel better soon!

   I heart SAJ so very, very much.

   And you too, of course :)

8. Kristin

   I hope you feel better soon. Sucks 2 b sick.

   At least you’re not throwing up. ;)

9. KYouell

   Hey, Mr. OMSH, I think the cute little graphic at the bottom of the page shows that the curvy bottomed orange OMSH is OMSH and the green OMSH hugging her is Mr. OMSH. At least that’s how I took it.

   Here’s hoping that Heather feels better soon and that whatever it is doesn’t spread to the rest of the OMSHes.