Life Lessons at the Turkey Trot
Yesterday I went to Meredith’s school to watch her run in the school’s annual Turkey Trot. This is the equivalent of what we used to call Track-n-Field, but in a sort of Cliff’s notes version. There is only one run – the 50 yard dash – and it isn’t an all day event. The winner of both the boy’s and the girl’s final heat get to take home a turkey to their family. The 2nd place winners get a bag of fruit and the 3rd place winners get a bag of candy.
THAT is a way to make a child strive toward mediocrity – I could hear them arguing in the hall, “No, I WANT TO BE 3rd!”
But in the end, when that gun pops off, those kids kick it in and the bag of candy is forgotten for the stardom of crossing that finish line first.
I’m a mainstay in my kids’ elementary school. I wish the Intermediate school had more room for parental involvement, but then again, I realize that 5th graders are not so enamoured with their parent’s presence at school as are Pre-K and 2nd graders.
Meredith was still in class when I arrived yesterday – having a lesson in grammar.
Peeking in from the doorway, I took in the aroma of school. If you can get beyond the smelly bodies and the lingering scent of Pine-Sol, you can catch the familiar whiff of paper, well-worn books, and hear the hum of overhead projectors and the grind of the pencil sharpener as another kid gets up to sharpen their tip. I love school supplies – now, office supplies to me.
A few minutes later Mrs. S. had all the kids lined up in “magic number order” to head to the hill. Girls would compete first. Meredith was in the 4th heat. She’s on the far left in the turqouise shirt.
I become exceptionally stomach-twisted when my kiddos compete, but I love that they do. Meredith seems to thrive on competition. On the way to the playground in the hall she said, “I’m a little nervous momma.” At that point, any anxiety I had escalated ten-fold as I took on hers too.
And they’re off.
There were 6 or 7 heats of 4 and 5 girls. The winner of each heat was pulled aside to run in the final heat. I was disappointed to see that Meredith was running against one of her best friends, Tatum (on the far right), in her first heat. Tatum’s strength is speed, and although Meredith is fast, her strength is perserverance.
True to form, Tatum kicks it off the starting line…pulling ahead of Meredith.
Pulling ahead of Meredith by a few lengths now, Tatum takes a strong lead.
I’m always amazed by how these girls can fly. I enjoy watching Meredith’s slight alterations that will give her just a bit more speed, a bit more length, a bit more of whatever she thinks she needs to win.
But she won’t always win…and she didn’t yesterday.
I love for my children to compete. True competition is about knowing that sometimes your best won’t place you first, second, or even third. Sometimes your best is what you do because you have integrity and you know you want to give it your all in spite of the outcome.
Meredith is learning her strengths – she’s an excellent self-pacer and a strong cross country runner.
She’s fast, but not faster than her buddie.
I won’t lie and say she was happy at the end of this heat – she wasn’t. She wouldn’t accept my congratulations right off and had to walk away for a second and be alone before she could join her friends again and wait for the final heat. If she had run against another group of girls for her first heat, she likely would have gone on to the finals. She knows this and I believe it was a bit of a punch to her pride, but I AM GLAD she doesn’t always win.
Sometimes learning to lose is just as important as celebrating victory.
At the end of both final heats, before the winners were announced, Coach Elliot gave a sort of pep talk. Not a mediocrity talk that says “Everyone is a winner.” Instead, that everyone made him proud by trying their hardest.
Tatum won 1st place with Meredith screaming for her on the sidelines – she took home a turkey for her family for Christmas.
I have a feeling these two will be running together for a long time; it’s good for them to be learning each other’s strength and weaknesses, how to win and lose, and most important, how to not let it change their friendship.
20 have spoken up.
bethany actually
AMEN to learning how to lose early in life. If more kids learned how to lose gracefully, I am sure this world would be a better place. Also, that last photo of Mer and her friends is beautiful.
Steph
Brava.
That’s all I can say.
Assertagirl
What a beautiful post, Heather. Took me back to the days when I consistently lost in the cross country running meets I used to participate in!
Linda
Very well put! Too many people strive on always coming in first, especially kids, and they fail to see the success of completing what they start regardless of what position they finish in.
Ornery's Wife
I was never athletic, but in high school I was very involved in music. Each year there was an awards program for all the band and choir members, and while I won a music camp scholarship, my best friend got the John Phillip Sousa award, the highest honor a high school musician could earn. I was happier for her than myself, and while we sang together all the time, she was the better musician, and made me better, too. So, in the years to come, as your daughter and her friend run together, I hope they will be like the scriptures refer to as “iron sharpening iron.”
Thanks for reminding me of my friend. I need to write her… Blessings!
TM
mamalang
What a valuable lesson that never gets any easier. My kids go to a very small school in a district where all the other schools are much larger. The middle school teams almost always get their butts kicked. But they learn to persevere, and when they do win, or even tie, it’s a sight to behold. The downside is, she always got to participate…there weren’t enough kids to worry about real tryouts. Now she’s learning (in a very large high school) about the disappointment of not always being picked. And we are trying to teach her that it’s okay not to make it, as long as you did your best.
My younger daughter has had the luxury of having the same soccer coach for the last few years. He is awesome at making sure the kids know that it’s always about enjoying what you are doing, and that while winning is obviously more fun, it’s not the whole point. I love that. Sounds like Mer’s coach did a good job of that lesson as well.
Shawna
Bravo to you for being the kind of parent that revels in your children’s participation, determination, and strengths and not just the wins vs. the losses! And bravo to the coach for not doing the “everyone’s a winner” speech–because everyone’s NOT a winner all the time!
Real Live Lesbian
Great pics with a wonderful lesson!
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Angella
Great post, Heather. You are a good Momma and have made some pretty great kids.
About those photos – it’s so WARM there!
That’s it. I’m moving to Texas.
Tanya
You are my parenting hero. Seriously. If I ever get around to having children, can I bug you daily you for advice?
Keri aka KinnicChick
So well put. You are absolutely right, too. There are so many children today who are not learning how to lose. Or how to compete. Very good life lessons…
Mr. OMSH
I agree. Great lesson, great parenting, and great pics. You truly are wonderful. And guess what world–I’m blessed by being married to her!
Shannon
Way to go anyway Meredith! I know what sports I am good at and which I have no business even thinking about. It is good that they learn they cannot always win!
Jill - GlossyVeneer
Those are beautiful photos.
I used to hate Track and Field days in elementary and middle school. I loathed PE in high school. (Who would have thought I’d turn into an exercise junkie?) But I think that I hated the most was the overly competitive nature and the way it felt like we were a disappointment somehow if we weren’t the “best”. It’s important to learn how to come in behind others with grace (I didn’t want to say ‘lose’). I find competing with myself far better than any of the competition challenges they tried to put us through in school.
Aileen
I have a little 4 year old girl that has been very competitive lately. She wants to win at all the games (Candy Land, High Ho Cherry O, Chutes and Ladders, etc.). Lately, when she doesn’t, she gets very upset, sometimes she cries, and says “I want to win!!” I don’t know where she picked this up from or if this is normal with all 4 year olds. My husband and I always try to tell her that what’s important is that you try your best, that you have fun in the process, and that there’s more to life than winning every single thing. This is going to be something we’ll have to remind her of again and again, I’m sure.
Kudos to Meredith for trying hard and being a great sport. I hope she had fun too.
witchypoo
Great pics! ABB never was co-ordinated enough for sports, but we did the winning/losing thing with Junior Monopoly. It’s a nice short game that gives them a chance to win next time. As far as trying his hardest, it was really a milestone when he managed to put his own socks on.
I kid you not! I used it as an example for him many times when he wanted to give up.
OMSH
With all the parents that seem to say that they want their children to learn to lose, why are the schools and now, little league sports, pushing toward this “Everyone is a winner” approach?
Gag…makes me sick.
witchypoo – Kenny still struggles with socks – that is a HUGE step in our household.
Jill – GlossyVeneer – Pushing against myself is my personal competition as well. Amazing how often I BEAT ME. I know, right?
Tanya – Oh, if only you knew how many times I’ve screwed up, you’d never ask that!
Ornery’s Wife – I wasn’t athletic either – I did Choir and Show Choir and was on yearbook staff as an editor, but no, no true athlete here. A short bout with Cross Country and that was it.
Mrs. Wilson
your beautiful daughter has your eyes!
Oh My Stinkin Heck » Blog Archive » From the heart of my bottom
[...] the rest of the 2nd graders. Smashed between her buddies Tatum (famed winner of last week’s Turkey Trot) and Daniella, she sang “Frosty the [...]
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