Ohmystinkinheck

Well, well, well…I sure opened a can of worms on Tuesday, didn’t I? Can I just say right off that I am THANKFUL for all of y’all? No seriously, that sounds all syrupy and silly, but I am. I look forward to reading your comments, even when I get the sneaky suspicion you’re gonna fry me up and serve me with tarter sauce. Y’all are just pretty stinkin’ awesome.

Today, I’m marching to the opposite spectrum because I want to talk about love. Most specifically, how we show our love and how we give love. As I watch my three kiddos grow up, I see how very different they give and receive love. One of them needs a lot of touch, but not a lot of quality time. The other needs tons of touch and quality time, but isn’t really big on getting gifts and doesn’t need a lot of affirmation. One of them seems to change daily, but quality time and affirmation are pretty significant constants.

Mr. OMSH and I went through the The Five Love Languages of Children course before Meredith was born. Although that particular course centered around learning the love languages of your children, it applies pretty universally. We learned a lot about each other’s love languages through that course - at least, we “read” about each other … I’m not too sure that we digested it and applied it with the regularity we could have through the years. Marriage - always a learning and growing experience, no?

At any rate, I found this Love Language Quiz online. It is rather short, but a “quickie” to get you thinking about how you receive love. In other words, what REALLY makes you feel loved.

When I first took a significantly longer test than this and discovered my love languages, I felt like a typical only child, but I’ve grown to understand that I can’t view it that way. It isn’t that I decided this is how I want to receive love, but rather - this is WHO I AM and HOW I RECEIVE the feeling of being loved.

My love languages, when met, do the trick and I feel all warm and gooey inside.

So what are my love languages?

Receiving Gifts: 9
Words of Affirmation: 9
Physical Touch: 6
Quality Time: 4
Acts of Service: 2

And yours? What are yours?

How does it match up with your spouse? If you flip mine upside down and switch Physical Touch with Quality Time I bet I’d have Mr. OMSH; of course, I can’t be certain until he takes the test too.

42 Responses to “Do you know your own love language?”

1. Kristin

   first? are ya kidding me?

   Words of Affirmation: 8
   Quality Time: 7
   Receiving Gifts: 6
   Acts of Service: 6
   Physical Touch: 3

2. OMSH

   Kristin - Am I kidding you about what? About knowing your own love language or that y’all are too awesome and I feel all sorts of smooshy-mooshyness towards those of you who actually return daily to read my drivel and look at my noobie photos.

3. Vanessa

   Your Detailed Results:
   Physical Touch: 11
   Quality Time: 9
   Receiving Gifts: 5
   Acts of Service: 3
   Words of Affirmation: 2

   Physical touch…not a shocker. I’m a big cuddler, could lay there quite happily all day. And that totally counts as quality time too. A+ to this survey, its got me figured out.

4. Kami

   Your Detailed Results:
   Physical Touch: 11
   Words of Affirmation: 7
   Quality Time: 6
   Acts of Service: 5
   Receiving Gifts: 1

   I knew physical touch would be my #1 but I have to say that I do enjoy getting gifts a bit more than that would reflect. But I had to pick the touch one whenever the two were put together as a choice.

   I like this language of love - I have never seen it decribed in this way. Very cool!

   :-)

5. Amanda

   This was really eye-opening for me! I always knew I was a snuggler, but I never really applied it to my marriage like this.

   Physical Touch: 11
   Acts of Service: 9
   Words of Affirmation: 6
   Receiving Gifts: 3
   Quality Time: 1

6. Sandra

   Well, overall not a big shocker although I was kinda surprised that Quality Time was so high on my list since I feel like I mostly want to be left alone.

   Words of Affirmation: 8
   Quality Time: 7
   Receiving Gifts: 6
   Acts of Service: 6
   Physical Touch: 3

   The sad thing is that I’m pretty sure Physical Touch would be #1 on my dh’s list. Gee, no wonder my marriage is so outta whack.

   Oh and Kirsten, are we twins? How odd is it that we scored exactly the same?

7. Lisa

   There is a book called “His Needs, Her Needs” that uses a similar concept, only with 10 basic needs. (For example, physical touch would instead be “affection” and “sexual needs,” which really are separate needs.) I’m being very serious when I say the book saved my marriage. The author has a Web site, too, at http://www.marriagebuilders.com. You may find it interesting. I wish I had found out about it before I needed it, and it might have saved us a lot of heartache. I am not affiliated with that book or site in any way! This isn’t an ad! :-)

8. Lisa C

   Your Detailed Results:
   Quality Time: 9
   Words of Affirmation: 8
   Physical Touch: 8
   Acts of Service: 5
   Receiving Gifts: 0

   I was definitely torn between some of these … but quality time is the most important to me!

9. chocolatechic

   Your Detailed Results:
   Receiving Gifts: 10
   Acts of Service: 7
   Words of Affirmation: 7
   Quality Time: 4
   Physical Touch: 2

   I am not surprised.

10. OMSH

    chocolatechic - I am so glad someone else wants to get gifts! I was starting to REALLY feel like a brat! HA!

11. Ang in TX

    Here’s mine-

    Acts of Service: 8
    Quality Time: 7
    Words of Affirmation: 7
    Physical Touch: 5
    Receiving Gifts: 3

    OMSH- ssssshhhh, don’t tell my darlin for I love his gifts but his taste clashes just ever so slightly with mine.

    I guess that’s why I adore when he is doing tasks that I can get done or need a hand
    doing.

    Thanks for sharing this quiz!

12. Loralee

    Receiving Gifts: 10
    Quality Time: 8
    Words of Affirmation: 6
    Acts of Service: 4
    Physical Touch: 2

    I know…I always feel materialistic with the gifts thing, but here is why they are important to me. It symbolizes that someone is thinking about me, takes the time, thought, act and often has to know what I like and dislike. It’s a whole bunch of relationship qualifications tied up in one little package.

    SO not about what the gift actually IS…

13. Vanessa

    HEY! Completely unrelated, but when I was checking up to see what everyone else got, I started to wonder…

    How’s Kenny doing with the school thang?

14. Angela

    Yeah I’m not surprised either. It kinda makes sense for me. I like to hear it. Anyway thanks for the link. I’d heard about this before but its nice to see more about it.

    Words of Affirmation: 10
    Acts of Service: 6
    Quality Time: 6
    Physical Touch: 6
    Receiving Gifts: 2

15. OMSH

    Vanessa - That’s my post for tomorrow! Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! heh heh

16. Meghan

    Quality Time: 10
    Words of Affirmation: 6
    Physical Touch: 6
    Receiving Gifts: 5
    Acts of Service: 3

    These results really surprised me! My husband and I took the love languages test during our pre-marital counseling years ago, and back then physical touch was #1 and acts of service was #2. Things have changed now that they honeymoon’s over! : )

17. Angella

    I don’t have time to do the quiz, but Matthew and I did one last year in the Alpha marriage course. We have the SAME love languages (no wonder we don’t fight). Words of affirmation (comment, anyone?) and Acts of Service are our two top ones :)

18. ocjen

    My Detailed Results:
    Acts of Service: 9
    Words of Affirmation: 8
    Quality Time: 6
    Receiving Gifts: 5
    Physical Touch: 2

    Don’t you think it’s sort of relative though?

    I mean, I’m an only child too, so you would’ve thought the gift thing was my bag too. But, I think because I’m at a new mom stage in my life, and I’m constantly serving others, that acts of service kinda fits right now.

19. comfortablycrazy

    PT:11
    AS:8
    QT:6
    WA:4
    RG:1

    What can I say I’m a huggy person, just ask SAJ. I also could care less about getting gifts, giving them is much more fun.

20. » Blog Archive » The Language of Love

    [...] OMSH did this over at her site  so of course I took the test. (I’m one of those people who’ll take the tickle IQ test twice  a year.) [...]

21. Kim

    Words of Affirmation: 10
    Receiving Gifts: 6
    Acts of Service: 6
    Quality Time: 5
    Physical Touch: 3

    I just read the book “Love and Respect” and it was helpful.

22. Just Beachy

    My husband and I did the Five Love Languages Class together the first year we were married. Then I read the one for Children to get a read on my daughter. She is Receiving Gifts. Here is mine:
    Physical Touch: 10
    Quality Time: 9
    Words of Affirmation: 7
    Acts of Service: 2
    Receiving Gifts: 1

    We were both Physical Touch in the class as well.

23. Kristin

    OMSH–my “are you kidding me?” was because I couldn’t believe that I was the first to comment on your blog!

    I made my husband do the test and his scores were directly opposite of me. Gulp. He’s headed home from TX tomorrow so we’ll have to have a chat…

24. MR. OMSH

    FOR OMSH’s EYES ONLY:

    Physical Touch: 28
    Sex: 19
    Heavy Petting: 18
    Receiving Gifts: 17
    Acts of Service: 12
    Quality Time: 10
    Foreplay: 1

25. Jill - GlossyVeneer

    That was interesting. Thanks for sharing. Here are my results:

    Physical Touch: 10
    Words of Affirmation: 8
    Quality Time: 7
    Acts of Service: 4
    Receiving Gifts: 1

26. OMSH

    Kristin - Oh! haha! Okay, I get it now.

    I think it is pretty normal for two married people to have different love languages. Why just look at Mr. OMSH’s up there. *ahem*

    Lisa - I agree it is good to separate out physical touch. Thank you for the link.

    Loralee - I’m trackin’ with you. As much as I love to get the perfect gift, I also LOVE to be on the giving end of the perfect gift!

    Angella - I’m always amazed to hear of couples who never fight. Jeff and I have had our fair share of doozies, especially earlier on.

    Our fights are becoming more quiet and I haven’t put my fist through a wall or closet door for years. heh heh

    ocjen - Yea, I think depending on where we are in life we can briefly change. Different seasons, y’know?. :)

    Thank you guys for posting yours - I’ve enjoyed reading through and once again, seeing how same and different we are.

    Bottom line, we all know how we want to receive love. and we all need it shown to us in one way or another. It is also a reminder to me to be diligent to show love to others (especially my family) in a way it can be received by them as love, and not just in the way I’d like to receive it.

27. bethany actually

    Mr. OMSH made me laugh out loud! Here’s mine:

    Quality Time: 10
    Acts of Service: 9
    Physical Touch: 5
    Words of Affirmation: 4
    Receiving Gifts: 2

    No surprise there. I love spending time with Troy, and I am always bugging him to “just be in the room with me” when I need help staying on task with organizing a room or something. I’m a hugger, but not super touchy-feely. And of course I like it when people say nice things about me, but I think I just know that Troy appreciates me, so when he tells me so it’s just a reminder of something I was already sure of. And of course I like getting presents, but it’s much more fun to GIVE presents. :-)

28. Mrs. Wilson

    Here’s mine!

    Quality Time: 10
    Words of Affirmation: 7
    Physical Touch: 7
    Acts of Service: 5
    Receiving Gifts: 1

    hahaha … Mr. OMSH …

29. Lanna

    Quality Time: 8
    Words of Affirmation: 8
    Physical Touch: 6
    Acts of Service: 6
    Receiving Gifts: 1

    I’m big on practical gifts, not frou-frou stuff. Just the way I am - which goes hand in hand with our current debt-free mission. I was more excited about the pressure canner and organic cotton velour pads I got two Christmases ago than the JCP gift card from dh’s work (which we turned into a comforter we only paid $10 for, but still).

30. Lanna

    I about snorted at Mr. OMSH. :)

31. Lauren

    I’ve got the adult version of that book.
    It’s certainly an eye opener. I must finish reading it one day.
    It just makes so much sense and I wish I had discovered it a long time ago.

32. Updates you want - updates you’ll get.

    [...] ← Do you know your own love language? [...]

33. Liz C

    Your Detailed Results:
    Physical Touch: 10
    Acts of Service: 8
    Words of Affirmation: 6
    Quality Time: 5
    Receiving Gifts: 1

    I am looking forward to having my DH take this at lunch… I’m very, very curious. :) He’s a snuggler, too, and we have three snuggly kids, so it should be interesting. I’m guessing his #2 will be gifts. I get a kick out of how much he likes being given a bouquet of flowers. I like it too, but he REALLY likes being given flowers!

34. Steph

    I haven’t taken the quiz yet, because well, because I’m ADD, and I’ll wander off and take the quiz and forget to come back and say thank you for linking it. :)

35. Shawna

    Words of Affirmation: 10
    Quality Time: 8
    Acts of Service: 5
    Receiving Gifts: 4
    Physical Touch: 3

    I’m definitely not a hugger–I blame that on my parents. But I’m learning! Ten years ago I would have probably been a 1 on the physical touch. Progress!

    I love Mr. OMSH’s response! I think he and my husband would have very similar results!

36. Cori!

    Quality Time: 9
    Words of Affirmation: 8
    Acts of Service: 7
    Physical Touch: 4
    Receiving Gifts: 2

    None of this really surprises me but I do wonder if my results will be different in six months or two years. Quality time and acts of service are in short supply when your husband is starting up a new business and I’m feeling needy in those areas. I might be wanting gifts in a couple of years…especially if the business goes as well as we hope! I’m too stressed right now by extra spending!

37. PhilMcDonnell.com » Blog Archive » My love language…

    [...] friend over at OhMyStinkinHeck.com has a post about the “Love Language Quiz“. Even though I am recently separated I decided to take [...]

38. mothergoosemouse

    Yep, I’m frigid:

    Acts of Service: 9
    Words of Affirmation: 9
    Quality Time: 6
    Receiving Gifts: 4
    Physical Touch: 2

    This doesn’t surprise me at all. I’ll have to ask Kyle to check it out too. Thanks for the cool link!

39. OMSH

    We’ve got a lot of lovin’ goin’ on in here.

40. KYouell

    Whee!

    Acts of Service: 8
    Quality Time: 8
    Words of Affirmation: 6
    Physical Touch: 5
    Receiving Gifts: 3

    Surprisingly, we only flip-flopped physical touch & quality time. I would have guessed that my husband would have had Physical Touch way at the top with a very high number. (That’s how he sees himself, anyway.)

41. Atomic Bombshell

    Acts of Service: 9
    Quality Time: 7
    Words of Affirmation: 6
    Physical Touch: 5
    Receiving Gifts: 3

42. Know Thyself at Puking Pastilles

    [...] still surprised? I was over at OMSH’s blog, just poking around when I found her post on Love Languages. I have always found the theory interesting, but never have read the whole thing through. I took [...]