Ohmystinkinheck

I’m pretty sure I’ve shared that I’m a “closet pyromaniac”, but in case I haven’t, you should know. I love to burn things. I love to watch things burn. Wait, that’s the same thing, right?

As a child, I used to experiment with different types of materials and how fast they burned. It started innocently enough with candles and incense (Things readily available in a home where a country boy and a hippie joined in an unlikely, but perfect marriage.)

My experiments broadened to toilet paper, index cards, dried glue I pulled off my hands (Anyone else use to pour glue all over your hands and let it dry JUST SO you could peel it off?)

Eventually my Barbie’s^™ toes were sacrificed to the “burn”. She wore heels after that so my parents wouldn’t wonder why her toes were shriveled up under her feet.

I even cut some of my hair off once to see how fast it would burn. I somehow had the sense not to burn it while ON my head; I might have been stupid, but I was NOT an idiot.

As an adult, I stopped burning things - it isn’t fun to destroy property when you have to pay to replace it, y’know?

heh heh

BUT…my husband, knowing my love for the flame and foreshadowing a need to purchase my birthday gift soon, took me to pick out a chimnea. We drove to a little pottery “side-of-the-road” place about 20 miles or so north of our town and I found her right away.

Ain’t she a beauty?

Mr. OMSH cut a circular area of sod out of our yard, I cut and laid some weed-resistant fabric, and the both of us covered it with two bags of pea gravel. Then, we set up the chimnea and started prepping it for a lifetime of satisfying, contained fires in the backyard.

From the back, she reminds me of someone else I know.

Chimneas are an extremely calming way to wind down an evening; especially if some of the day was spent working and sweating in the yard. You sit and view the work you did around you, dream up other projects you want to do - things like “adding on a shed” or “building a fort” for the kids. And then, as your brain submerges into absolute obscurity, and you find that comfortable spot in the chair - y’know, that “spot” you could sit in forever? Well, then you give up the ghost.

Yea, it’s that good.

27 Responses to “ch-ch-ch-chimnea”

1. Kate

   Congrats on the chimnea! I love it! I too am a firebug, although mostly just a campfire bug. I can’t resist poking and prodding, adding more wood, etc. When we get our house built, we will be having an outdoor firepit that we can sit around in the summer & fall evenings. Like watching the ocean, there’s something calming and relaxing about watching a fire.

2. nottryingforaboy

   Congrats on your new addition!

   I totally did that glue thing.

3. Angie Garza

   Same! We light up our chimenea almost every night, and on the weekends for sure. ang

4. lace

   I did the glue thing as well. So fun to peel that dried glue off.

   I wonder if we have any glue…

5. Gin

   Love it! I so know what you mean about winding down in front of a backyard sef-contained fire. We’re going to make one out of brick when all of our renovations are done… maybe by July!!!

   My brother once burned a roll of TP in the bathroom and left it to smolder in the plastic trash can. My parents just couldn’t understand why he’d done such a thing. It really ruined our dinner, the smell of burning plastic and all.

6. Liz C.

   My brothers got booted from Boy Scout camp for lighting a very small… forest fire.

   LOVE the little chimnea. Mr OMSH looks awfully cozy there. Was this taken about three seconds before the drool thread and severe head bob that startles him awake?

7. Emily

   Umm, I just did the glue thing a couple days ago…. one of my favorite things! I try to make bracelets with them–dh thinks I’m strange. Yeah. Started in 4th grade. Glad I’m not the only one to play with glue on my hands!!

   BEAUTIFUL spot in the yard, btw!

8. naomi

   marvellous! i’d love to have one of those!

   i used to coat white glue on the palm of my hand and let it dry to see my print embossed in the glue. the tan coloured glue that came in those odd shaped bottles and red squishy top to spread the blue about, that one i’d use to make glue strings that looked like silk. that was fun to do when i was bored in class.

9. LaurenC

   I totally used to paint my hands in glue just so I could peel off my ‘alien skin’.

   And as for fires. You would love my neighbourhood. In winter (right now actually) on friday and saturday nights we have street parties and our current fire bin is the inside of a broken clothes drier mounted on the rolling feet of a broken office chair.

   It can be moved between houses conveniently and is given new life to broken stuff. We are kinda closet pyromaniacs here too.

10. Mim

    I STILL love to let glue dry on my fingers and to then pull it off! Luckily for me- I do lots of crafty projects with my students. IMHO- that’s mainly the best use for white glue as it doesn’t look nice when you glue two papers together with it!

    I have a fire pit to meet my fascination with fire. So glad it’s summer again and time for roasting marshmallows. Yum :)

11. Janie

    I love fire and always have. I once lit toilet paper in my bedroom and when my Dad opened the door (because he smelled smoke) I threw it under my bed. Luckily it went out instead of lighting up the room. ughh…..

12. Shannon

    I too am a pyro and have caught the carpet in front of my parent’s fireplace on fire 8 times. I am not so smart as I have had my hair on my head caught on fire. We have a fire pit and it sits on our deck but after I caught the deck on fire I have been banned from fires until we can do what you did!
    Great idea!

13. Sonja

    The glue thing, I think it’s a metaphor for my approach to life. I love to make or find a mess and clean it up! I remember getting caught in kindergarten for trying to glue my hands together! If a glue bottle comes anywhere near me, I have to clean the orange top. Use my thumb to peel off the sides and then sometimes for a really old bottle, unplug the guts! It’s theraputic.

14. Natalie

    MMM. Fire Good.
    Spoken in my primal voice.
    Now you need meat on sticks!
    As for glue on hands… still dabbling!

15. MMM

    I was home alone a LOT, so I would burn stuff, too. BTW, dental floss burns insamely fast. And the melted wax will leave a scar if it hits your skin. Just sayin’.

16. MMM

    OOPS-insanely not insamely

17. Jill - GlossyVeneer

    Thank you for posting this, just so I could learn the proper name for those things!

    Just two days ago my husband and I were driving past some little “shop” on a corner where a guy was selling a bunch of random yard things. I sarcastically blurted out, “Ooohh! A naked mermaid statue, we need that!” My husband said, “Where?” And I said, “It’s right over there, next to the, uh… Mexican fire container things.”

    So my comment doesn’t have much to do with your post, I guess I just took a brain dump on your blog!

18. clistyB

    phonetic spelling please..

19. neutron

    This may sound kinda weird, but I’ve never actually seen one of these mini-chimnea things. Great idea!

20. Angella

    Um. Did the glue thing. I may have sniffed some too.

    That would explain a LOT…

21. Elizabeth

    So sweet!! Our municipal gov’t just banned all in-town burning. So sad. I would’ve loved to get one of those!

22. Bethany

    another confessed glue peeler here, ever make the fake fingernails that way?! enjoy the fire! looks most lovely. and btw, thanks so much for your swap work … you put in a lot of time and it’s truly appreciated!

23. Mandy

    This is so funny! Just last night my neighbor and I thought it would be a great night to start a little fire and sit in my newly brush cleared and mowed back yard. Well, until the police came. Evidently there are no bonfires allowed in city limits. Whatever.

24. Mrs. Wilson

    I SO did the glue on the hands thing! I never burned it though … although I’ve always loved burning things as well.

    Your new chimnea totally looks relaxing. Good job on that!

    And ps. I LOVE the new OMSH illo!

25. Mr. OMSH

    Wait a minute…WAIT. A. MINUTE! Burning Barbie’s toes? Burning your own hair?

    Why do women disclose these things AFTER marriage?

    Our town has restrictions on open-fires (requires a temporary permit)–BUT closed or contained fires are open season…

26. Timmy Grimmy

    Burning Barbie’s toes just happens, sometimes. I had a neighbor who had a pyro 3 year old son. She kept leaving non-child-proof lighter’s around and he kept burning their houses down. The Red Cross would pay for her family to go to a motel and eat in restaurants. It happened 4 times. She had nine children. One day, she realized that she was a bad mother and took all of her kids down and left them with the State. I hope the kid became a fireman.

27. OMSH

    Timmy Grimmy - *GULP*