Ohmystinkinheck

School starts back soon.
Can all the ladies in the house say “YES!”

And that makes me sound like a very bad mother - a very bad mother indeed.

In addition to being a very bad mother who cannot wait for the moment she drops ALL THREE children off at the local government school for their respective indoctrination sessions, I have also proven to be a poor steward. How is that? I did not wait for tax free day to shop. And you know what? PAYING THOSE TAX MONIES ROCKED. I was able to push my cart down the aisle of the mega-evil supercenter and get ALL the school supplies in ONE place without any hassle.

Quick recap.
My kids are in public school. I don’t have issues with this right now. When I do, I’ll take them out and fill them with useless facts by myself educate them at home. I’m quite certain that the joy of coming home to have coffee in silence will be unmatched. I’m excited to have all that free time to work - productively - without breaking up fights, fetching drinks and wiping rears.

Where were we?

Oh yes - tax free days.

Last year I waited for the tax free days - anticipated them, even. I figured out quick that it wasn’t an event worth repeating - this savings thing. I was just one more momma on the verge of a complete breakdown, lost in all the pushing, shouting and grabbing for that last pack of baby wipes and 1 gallon double ziplock plastic bags. Last year, I spent any tax monies saved driving to 4 different locations to fill the list - one of which was a Target about 35 miles from our home.

Next year I’m going to be really lazy and order it all online.

Okay, maybe not … because there truly is something magical about school supplies.

On the list were things like fresh, pointy crayons, moist markers (without the tip-mush that proves an unknown little person found and used them), and reams of paper ripe for scribbling. Don’t forget the folders with BRADS.

Yes, must have BRADS. Map pencils, new boxes of #2 pencils, binders, dividers, pencil boxes, but whatever you do - DO NOT BUY TRAPPER KEEPERS! TRAPPER KEEPERS ARE BAD! NOT ALLOWED! What the freak? I loved Trapper Keepers when I was a kid - I was naive to the Trapper Keeper dangers that were lurking. Velcro closures! OH NO! They can make a bomb with that! Aaack! Matching folders and pockets! Please say NO! Look - it even has its own zipper pouch and matching calculator … RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Schools are getting insane. Kenny is going into Pre-K and he HAS to have a clear backpack. Um, why? Are they afraid he’ll sneak in his matchbox cars, a Nerf ball, or his customized 4 year old handgun?. On the other hand, his older sister CANNOT have a backpack, period. At her school there are no textbooks to bring home, no lockers to junk up with mirrors and posters, and no anything else that sounds remotely akin to an educational experience! What in the stinkin’ heck are they going to do for homework? Has the internet really already replaced textbooks? Am I so lame I don’t know this?

But you know, I’m not complaining - because soon, very soon, there will be blessed silence in the house.

Blessed, blessed silence.
So tell me, are you sacrificing lending your children to the public school system too?

49 Responses to “Back to school sarcasm … er, I mean supplies.”

1. AbsolutelyBananas

   This is off topic, but you take the BEST pictures!!! I was looking at your pics from BlogHer and wondering how you do it? What camera do you use??

2. Moose

   I fully intend to subject my child(ren) to the mercies of the public school system. Mostly because I’m far too lazy (and far too bad at geometry) to attempt home schooling.

3. OMSH

   Absolutely Bananas - There is no such thing as off topic round these here parts. I have a Nikon D70, purchased the “outfit” back in November 2004. I’m in love with it still.

   I also hardly ever put up a photo without running it through photoshop to AT LEAST crop it. :)

   Moose - ew - geometry. I hadn’t even considered that. I’m quite certain once we passed the multiplication tables, I’d be out for the long haul.

4. Friglet

   My kids are happily shipped off to public school, as early as they’ll take them. I can happily say that I’ve even had one make it all the way through in one piece. He even got into a good college **gasp**.

   I’m totally jealous, btw, that your kids are starting soon. We’ve got a million days of summer left.

5. c

   Not worrying about the public schooling issue for a couple of years still. Though I just HAD to thank you for the good laugh…oh and like A.B. said, GREAT photos!

6. Susan

   I shopped the tax-free weekend this year, for the first time, and saved approximately $7.00 on Henry’s school uniforms.

   It wasn’t worth it, believe me.

   And what the heck is a “brad”? I have to have folders with brads and I don’t know what I’m looking for. The only brads I am familiar with are the type who run away with Angelina Jolie, but I suspect that’s not what the school wants.

7. Laura/PinkFontGirl

   the marketing girl at my work doesn’t understand my obsession with school supplies. lol. she thinks i’m crazy to swoon over the Office Depot catalog. but i sure do get jealous of those kiddies!! why no Trapper Keepers?!?!

8. Stephanie

   Hi! First time to your site, and being a public school teacher I have to express my agreement at your concern over no books home. Does that include books from the library? When are kids going to be encouraged to read if they can’t take the home? And homework? Really, I’d love to meet the teacher who thinks that they are teaching kids effectively and efficiently enough to cover everything without students working outside of class.

9. frugalmom

   My kids are in the public school being taught how to take a standardized test. Yes, they are. I have entertained the idea of homeschooling…husband has not jumped on the wagon…yet. What it tax free day? Oh, and we can’t have mechanical pencils…they make too much noise.

10. Amy

    Mmmm, school supplies. LOVE them, still.
    My mom used to sing a line from a Christmas song this time of year: “And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again!” (from It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas)

11. Jamie

    LOL…I blogged about this Friday. I swear I was on some sort of manic mommy high dragging my 5-year-old all over Walmart and Target! I’m not sure it was “worth” shopping on the so called holiday. ;)

    You’re a smart cookie OMSH. I can just see you dancing through the empty aisles! ;)

12. Mim

    Oh yes, oh yes they are going to public school. We live in a small community and I’m totally happy with them going to public school. At this point in the summer I’m almost giddy! They start in two weeks and I can’t wait.

13. roaringmommy

    We live in Illinois and at my son’s school (grades 3-5) we must buy dry erase markers which smell terrible and it also says on all of the supply lists in HUGE SCREAMING LETTERS:

    “NO TRAPPER KEEPERS!!”

    I find this somewhat ironic because once they get to 6th grade and beyond, all the teachers do (I have friends who teacher there) is gripe and complain about the kids who do NOT have Trapper Keepers because they are the ones who are so disorganized.

    I shake my head at the absurdity of it all. It’s perfectly ok for them to inhale the fumes of toxic markers all day long, but heaven forbid we bring organization materials into the building.

14. oh amanda

    I’m jealous of the kids who get to go to school b/c of the school supplies! That’s one of the reasons I WANT to send my daughter to public school–so we can buy lots of school supplies!

15. jen

    am I allowed to think the clear backpacks and trapper keepers are kind of dumb? The no-backpack? ugh. I lived in my bag at that age. I had all manner of things unrelated to school and who cared?

    Trapper Keepers were not allowed in our school because the little velcro tab MADE NOISE OMG! If that’s not an indication that some people need to get over themselves, I don’t know what is. Shuffling papers and pencil boxes makes noise too.

    But I love school supplies. I love new crayons and pencils and pens and notebooks and folders. It all holds so much promise but the anticipation is the best part!

16. Big Mama

    We’re still in pre-K here, but next year she’ll be headed off to public Kindergarten and I will go to Starbucks and drink a latte to celebrate and maybe cry just a little.

    As for tax free weekend, there isn’t enough money to make me work that hard to save money.

17. BC

    I’m a firm believer in the public school systems. I have had my children in public schools their entire life, just like I was. I personally don’t believe in homeschooling, but thats just my 2-cents worth. I totally understand everyone has different opinions on this topic.

    See you at Blogasm ‘08!

18. Holley

    Tomorrow is the day my older two head off to high school. Friday is the gloripis day of enlightenment for the younger two. I too hate tax free day. I bought most of the supplies a month ago for the younger two. They sent the list home at year end.
    Also no Trapper Keepers. Our teachers do approve of mechanical pencils. Those darn pencil sharpeners are too noisy. What is it with the noise issue in public school? No wonder our kids suffer from ADHD, they are never taught how to block out undesirable noise. I on the other hand are an expert at that. I can go an entire day answering questions, avoiding conflict, solving world huger. Note to self: repent for that mushroom cloud incident.
    We also have no lockers at the high school level. The classrooms look like a co-ed slumber party on drugs.

19. Holley

    Oh… YES!! Woop, woop!!

20. OMSH
    
21. Angella

    Graham (my firstborn) starts Kindergarten next month.

    *sniff*

    And?

    YAY!! One down, two to go!

    :)

22. Jill - GlossyVeneer

    Trapper Keepers have extraordinary potential for danger. Didn’t you see that episode of MacGyver where he used the Trapper Keeper, a stick of a gum and a fishing float to, er.. um… okay, he used the noisy velcro flap to torture a teacher or something.

    Your pictures made me want to go buy a box of brand new crayons for some reason. Nostalgia.

23. jamie

    Keeping my kids home this year! We live in a terrible area, and the schools here suckola. SO! They will be tortured with MOMMA! MWA HA HA HA HAAA!

    Man, I need a nap.

24. jamie

    Oh yah, and IF mine were to go to school, they would only be in JK and SK… so… meh.

25. MMM

    Still homeschooling and loving it! It’s hard not to get a break from the kids, but I wouldn’t trade homeschooling them for anything!
    We were paying 4K a year for the first child to go to private school and could barely afford that. Then when the second one started, forget it! OUr township schools are on academic probation-no way! So homeschooling was the answer to our prayers-literally!

26. Vanessa

    Dang, call me the lives-in-a-bubble Canadian, but WHAT is a trapper keeper? Cause seriously? That sounds like something to go hunting with. Except, yknow, I don’t hunt?

    I went to Catholic school, you heathens (joking, no one scream at me for forcing religion on them or something crazy like that), so I have no real opinion on public. The Catholic board in my area is better funded, and while money isn’t everything, it sure does bring better buildings, programs, sports and pay teachers with Masters to teach elementary, and PhDs to teach high school. No objections.

27. Aileen

    I have a two year old and a soon to be four year old little senorita. This whole thing about the trapper keeper and backpacks is news to me. She’s in summer camp right now, and they don’t care what color backpacks the little brats…err…angels take to school. I guess they think that preschoolers are not predisposed to violence…yet? That just means they’ve never been around them when there are 5 of them and only one chocolate cupcake!

    I used to have a trapper keeper that I loved when I was younger (I’ll be 28 for the 7th time this October…that’s YOUNG)!! I might buy one for myself when I go shopping for pre-k goodies because I’m feeling all nostalgic.

28. OMSH

    Angella - I sometimes get a bit broken-hearted, but my oldest is ALMOST babysitting age and man, that feels like a mini-celebration in and of itself.

    Jill - GlossyVeneer - MacGyver! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! That man was so smart. I know he’s JUST LIKE THAT in real life.

    I know - I kinda wanted a reason to buy colors. Do you need a reason to buy colors?

    jamie - If I wasn’t able to have my kids at the school they are in I would have had to homeschool, b/c there IS a school here I would NOT let them enroll in.

    MMM - Academic probation? SERIOUSLY! Yowzers! I’m glad to hear you are still enjoying homeschooling! It is good for your extended family to see this success *wink*

    Vanessa - You’re good - I did not feel the immediate need to say “Sister” or confess. heh heh … do they pay their teachers better as well?

    Aileen - I might buy one too AND TAKE IT TO THE SCHOOL. I’ll walk around with my Trapper Keeper and open and close it outside of all the classroom doors. It’ll be a HIT!

29. nyjlm

    We’re at T-13 and counting! Yippee. School is starting two weeks later than usual so that means a longer summer this year. I’m dying- not from the kids per se but from the busy-ness, which seems even wilder than the school year busy-ness. Ach.

    PTA is providing our school supplies this year. Yay for fund raising paying off. I do love school supplies though, and my 8yo is sad that we don’t have to shop for them this year.

30. Kristin

    I LOVE back-to-school supply shopping!!! New notebooks, that smell of a new box of crayons, crisp folders, new pencil box…. ahhhhh…. Heaven.

31. Loralee

    Sorta. My children go to a charter school. It is a public school, but it functions differently because the school takes less public budget (No lunch program or busing) in order to have more freedom over things like dress code and curriculum, which in our case is about 1-2 years ahead of the surrounding districts.

    I LOVE IT. I couldn’t ever homeschool (I know I would suck at it) but this is in between.

32. MMM

    Awww, thanks! Yes, the extended family (on my side) still doesn’t agree with it, but they seem to support it a little more than they did last year!

33. Kami

    I am all about the public school… home schooling for me, would be the equivalent of my own person hell.

    And oh the school supplies… I just did a post about it.

    Me love me some new supplies!

34. TheAngelForever

    We are starting the public school journey with our oldest this September. He will be going into a full day PreK program. We were lucky to get him into a Montessori Magnet school in our district via lottery (we actually won something - who knew?!).

    My husband and I both went to public schools and want to support them. The district we are in right (the same one I went to) is now trying to fix a lot of issues. Our neighbor joked the other day that IF things aren’t better when our kids are in middle school that I should home school all of them (I’m a teacher). Who knows we may need to do this if we don’t move or I am unable to find a job where I can send the boys.

    On a side note for the past 3 years I taught at a private all girls Catholic school. It was an eye opener coming in from public school experience as a child and teacher (no less I am Jewish). The demands of the parents were intense since they felt ownership of us. It was a nice growing experience, but I had to leave this position since the pay was horrid (at least $20K a year less than public school teachers make) and would be taking home nothing after taxes and childcare for two. So now I am officially a SAHM.

    PS - I miss shopping for my classroom this year. I loved getting bargains this time of year. I guess I will settle for the list of items that Thing 1 needs for PreK.

35. Leta

    I don’t think I have it in me to homeschool. You bet your sweet hiney she’ll be in public school. We haven’t had to buy any supplies yet, but that hasn’t stopped me from shopping the back-to-school aisles. I love school supplies! And Trapper Keepers ROCK. I had a totally awesome purple one.

36. mothergoosemouse

    HUGE supporter of public schools, and not just because I finally got to send one of my kids to one.

    Also love the school supply shopping expedition, with the exception of the glue specs. We were required to purchase Elmer’s School Glue - NOT the no-drip variety. Her teacher apparently wants drippy glue.

    Okeydoke. As long as you’ll take my kid for three hours each afternoon, I’ll gladly bend to your glue whimsy.

37. Gina

    My kids are in the public schools. My husband and I turned out just fine! I also don’t have it in me to homeschool. I love kids, I LOVE volunteering in their classrooms and spending time with kids and working with them but I could not ever be a teacher.

    Our 1st grader will have the same 1st grade teacher I had and this will be her last year teaching and I think we’re so fortunate to have that!!

    We have a school-supply shopping date Saturday night. I just got a call asking if I could do something Saturday night and turned her down….this is way funner! :-)

38. OMSH

    nyjlm - Okay, I am totally showing my poor stewardship yet again in that I will ABSOLUTELY pay for school supplies so as not to have to be part of a fundraising event.

    I’m a horrible, horrible person.

    Kristin - Join the crowd baby, join the crowd. We should have t-shirts.

    Loralee - Control over curriculum is good - very good. Control over clothing requirements is also very good. I’m glad we aren’t doing uniforms. I know some say it makes it easy, but I want my children to be able to express their style in their fussed up clearance rack outfits!

    MMM - Slowly but surely you’ll win over the whole clan and they’ll EAT THEIR WORDS. That sounds so sinister, doesn’t it?

    Kami - I say avoid hell at all cost.

    TheAngelForever - I am surprised that a school of that nature wouldn’t pay better, but I guess it has everything to do with not getting subsidized by the gov’t. Where you gain freedom you lose funds. Uggh.

    Leta - Did it also have a unicorn? I believe my best friend had a purple Trapper Keeper with a unicorn! Weeeeee!

    mothergoosemouse - Stinkin’ Glue Nazis, I swear!

    Gina - I’ve always wanted to be able to use the excuse that I went to public school and turned out fine, but then I read my blog and wonder. heh heh

    I volunteer A LOT - have for the last two years. I was even asked to come in as an instructor, but er… the pay was scant. No thanks, I’ll keep working my gig I already do that pays mighty fine and lets me have freedom with my schedule.

39. MR. OMSH

    It’s funny that you wrote this when you did…because my wife Heather had the EXACT same experience recently. This reminds me of why I thank the Lord for traditional gender roles.

40. Kristen

    all the cool kids had trapper keepers.

    do they sell protective bubbles?

    that’s what I’m in the market for.

41. Holley

    So much for getting off cheap. The PTA paid for most of the school supplies for one kid. The list was way too short, I should have known better. Just left an hour long meeting where we discussed how many fundraisers we could squeeze in before Christmas to pay for our $1000.00 a year showchoir kid.

42. Vanessa

    Yeah, they’ve got some hardcore spending going on. When I was in grade 12 (uh, senior year, to you Yankee folks), they spent 10 grand a new stained glass window for the chapel. *serious eye roll* Oh, and it was blessed by the bishop. In a mass. For a window.

43. Rocks In My Dryer

    Oh, yes, we’re the wildy risk-taking daredevils who have our kids in public schools. They love it, we love it. In fact, sometimes when I see some of the things written in the blogosphere about the wickedness of the public school system, I have to shrug, and I wonder what planet WE’RE living on. We’re having a great experience!

44. OMSH

    Mr. OMSH - HUH? Genius roles? Whuh?

    Kristen - protective bubbles are on aisle 9 sweetie. Aisle 9. Right between chastity belts and bullet guards.

    Holley - Oh! See now, I feel better.

    Vanessa - Stain glass is an integral part of the learning experience, don’tcha know?

    Rocks In My Dryer - We are too - really. I have no complaints … yet.

45. Andrea

    This morning at open house, I made a joke about doing a happy dance when our girls leave for school on Monday. The woman taking my $75 check for various fees and supplies was not amused. Seems like I had more to be grumpy about at that moment…

    AngelForever–our girls just finished at our public Montessori school and we all will miss it. I hope your family enjoys it!

    Cannot wait to hear what the new swap colors are going to be since I missed out on blue and brown one.

46. OMSH

    Andrea - Don’tcha just LOVE how seriously everyone takes EVERYTHING.

    Oh, and go and put in your two cents on the colors, if you haven’t already, ‘cuz I’ll put up a poll tomorrow!

47. Lanna

    Nah, we’re going to unschool the kidlets (lots of reasons, but this isn’t my blog). But even then, my oldest isn’t even 4yo yet. But I did get 18 packages of those $.15 crayons. I have a feeling some will be used in the traditional way, others will be eaten.

48. Mom2Six

    My Trapper Keeper had a hot air balloon on it–My dad used to fly one to advertise his business.

    My children can’t have Trapper Keepers at school because THEY DON’T FIT IN THE DESK!

    High schools here no longer let the students have lockers or backpacks. Books are issued at the beginning of the year, and they are expected to take them home and keep them home–mustn’t hurt their young backs lugging heavy books around! Teachers have a classroom set for use at school.

    What do you do if you want to spend lunch hour doing homework (like I used to, just so I didn’t have to take it home)?

49. OMSH

    Lanna - yes, eaten. And? For$0.15 ea. that makes for a cheap meal!

    Mom2Six - I just don’t like it. And I did the same thing OR I did homework on the bus b/c the commute was sooooooooooo long.