Ohmystinkinheck

You know that time I was really stupid and caught a copperhead in a minnow bucket?

Well … what has it been? Four weeks?

This is what we came home to today.

Momma cat was guarding it. She wanted to kill it as she does every other animal or reptile that enters the yard. Like, for instance, this morning, when Jeff stepped out on the front stoop and was welcomed by a dead mole. We are the humans upon which Momma Cat offers up her morning stoop sacrifices. And y’know, I don’t mind so much except for when she comes through the kitty door and leaves them on the floor of my bathroom. Nothing like squishin’ a half-eaten frog between your freshly clean toes when you step out of the shower.

At any rate, back to the snake adventure.

Click on the picture, select “All Sizes” above it and then select “Original” to get a VERY LARGE view of this creepy belly crawler.

When I saw this snake, and how aggressive it was defending its place in the yard, I told the kiddos to STAY IN THE SUBURBAN while I saved Momma Cat ran in the house to grab my camera. After my last incident, I was quite certain I would NOT try to catch this snake with a broom and a minnow bucket. This snake would not FIT in a minnow bucket.

Thankfully, while I was in the house Momma Cat kept the snake at bay. The snake tried to slither away more than once, but Momma Cat would have none of that. I swear she’s better than any Hound.

I’m assuming the warm weather is driving out the snakes and I don’t particularly care for it. There is a rather large pond about a 1/2 acre down from the lot where our house rests and it seems as though we are the last stop to, or first stop from, all that visits it. I can’t say I like this development. Nor can I say I will be sending my chil’ens out in the yard to play without a quick once over. Nope, not after a friend of ours’ daughter was struck on the heel last Tuesday by a Copperhead.

After a while, the snake just sat back in a defensive posture - and Momma Cat played the part of the lazy guardian … relaxing back into a less offensive posture herself. And they just had an old fashioned staredown…

…except for when I would walk by … and the snake would TURN ITS HEAD AND FOLLOW MY MOVEMENT. I decided this snake was not gonna be caught by me. Did I mention it was very, VERY big?

I called my aunt first - muttering explicatives on her voice mail. Then, I stopped a water meter reader woman driving down the street. She was gonna spray it with hornet spray - we decided against it seeing as how Momma Cat was so close. And finally, I called Animal Control.

“Um hello … is this Animal Control?”

“No ma’am, this is the police dispatch.”

“Oh, okay - this was the number for Animal Control in the phone book.”

“Yes ma’am, we do it all - what seems to be the problem?”

“I have a Texas size snake in my front yard trying to swallow my cat.”

“The cat is in its mouth?”

“No, not yet - but she’s trying really hard.”

“Ma’am is it poisonous?”

“I haven’t let it bite me yet - not sure.”

“I’m sorry?”

“The snake … I haven’t let it bite me yet. So, y’know … I don’t know.”

“Oh … okay.”

“I DO KNOW it isn’t a Copperhead - I caught one of those in a minnow bucket a few weeks ago.”

“In a minnow bucket?”

“Yes.”

“Ma’am, let me send someone right out.”

Animal Control arrived. I’m sure he snickered when he pulled up to two women holding shovels in a defensive posture and one woman holding a can of hornet spray. But you see, while we waited that snake was getting jiggy with my cat and I was NOT gonna let it take down my cat - not after our recent cat mishaps. He walked up and said, “Yep, just what I thought - a Chicken Snake.” There was a collective sigh of relief - Chicken Snakes (a.k.a. “Rat Snakes”) are non-venomous snakes.

“That’s got to be the biggest Chicken Snake I’ve seen in a long while.”

“So, will you … um … take it away?”

“Take it away?”

“Yes, to a faraway place?”

“A faraway place?”

“Am I speaking a foreign language? Make this snake like Dorothy … except I want it to wake up and be in Kansas.”

“…”

“Fine. Can you take it to the woods somewhere?”

“Yes, I can do that.”

And so, he pulled out this very long metal snake extractor tool and told us to step back because this snake was gonna “fight it” - and we did - and the snake did.

And it was looooooooooooooooong and thiiiiiiiick. I could not have touched my fingertips if I wrapped my hand around its middle.

That snake had to be about 8 ft. long.

Nope, it would not have fit in a minnow bucket.

The Animal Control dude left, along with the water meter reader chic with the hornet spray, leaving me and my aunt standing there with shovels in hand.

“Hey, wanna go inside and drink a margarita?”

“That sounds good - this snake business is hard work.”

And so it went.

26 Responses to “another slithery snake adventure”

1. Suebob

   What a GOOD kittie Momma Cat is! So brave.

2. Angela

   Wow. I got the heebie geebies just reading that. So was it poisonous? I don’t know anything about Chicken Snakes.

   Texas sure does have it’s share of scary reptiles. To think here in PA we complain about the may flys. :)

3. OMSH

   Suebob - Yea, she’s a keeper!

   Angela - Chicken Snakes, also called Rat Snakes, are non-venomous. If it were venomous … it would not be a catch and release. Nope. It would have met the demise of the Copperhead.

4. Kristin

   shiver shiver…. that’s one big snake. Margaritas are a just reward after another snake adventure. :)

5. MissPrissy

   That is one protective cat! That snake was huge, I would have been freaking out!

6. frugalmom

   Yikes! We don’t have anything like that here in the Midwest. I am trying really hard to imagine what it must be like to do a once over in the yard before letting the kids embark on play time.

   I don’t think we even have anything I could try to one up you on! Hmmm…I’m just boring.

7. Tanya

   First of all - that is one awesome cat! She deserves extra treats.

   Second - you are so amazing. I would have crouched in the corner crying until someone got rid of the snake for me. Man, they really creep me out.

8. karen

   Momma Cat is great - I love the staring contest photo! We haven’t got big snakes here but Pixie does bring me “treats” from time to time. She usually delivers them to me in her favorite room, the den. On special days, she brings them in alive…and let me be the first to say you have not lived until your cat has handed you a living mouse. May I also add that there’s no way to tell which one (you or the mouse) is more surprised when it happens!

9. Friglet

   Holy crap you live in a scary place! I HATE snakes! Luckily, we’ve only had one in 19 years. ;)

10. Holley

    Is it anywhere close to birthday time for you? Should it be close, I would ask for a twenty-two pistol. With the dear hubby out of town so much, I cannot count the number of times I have taken on the outdoors. And chicken snake non-venomous as it is, would have been identified post-mortem using the southern homeowners guide to snakes. I will commend you on your bravery. When my brood comes screaming snake, I would never think to grab my camera. I’m digging for the keys to unlock the pistol box.

11. Ren

    I’m chuckeling into my Sonic straw at your conversations with the authorities. I love your strength and chutzpa (spelling??), you go girl, take on the great Texas outdoors… I’ll put my money on you every time.

12. MMM

    I think I need a drink now, too. (and I don’t drink). ACK! That thing is HUGE! Good for Momma Cat!

13. SmocknMama

    Yes, and Holley’s pistol is “Texas” size!

14. OMSH

    I’m concerned that SmocknMama is so familiar with Holley’s pistol. *ahem*

    frugalmom - The probability of snakes in the yard don’t make you less boring - just more cautious! HA! I have to say I had cold chills and shivers like Kristin.

    MissPrissy - I think your reaction matches your username perfectly! :)

    Tanya - I had a pretty good idea that it wasn’t venomous, so that helped. Not that I was going to turn into an instant “handler” - the COPPERHEAD incident was much more … um … freaky!

    karen - Momma cat likes to bring us live moles. And they are cuter than cats, but I do believe they are always a bit surprised to be SEEN by us as well.

    Friglet - we live in a lovely place … where there is 80% humidity for 50 weeks of the year, almost matched by the heat and mosquitos and the plague of snakes in my yard. I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

    *snort*

    Holley - There are enough guns in the house to shoot snakes, BUT I didn’t want to alert the calvary. At least, not this time. Now, about you rand SmocknMama and these guns….???

    Ren - DID YOU HAVE TO SAY SONIC? I meean really … did you HAVE TO? I haven’t had Sonic in 3 days!

    MMM and all - Texas at 9:00 PM for margaritas. I swear I make the best darn Texas Margarita Slushes you’ve EVER HAD. Like, ever.
    Totally.

15. PlusToo

    I just cannot get over the bravery of your cat and just how big that snake was. It looks big in the picture but then you mentioned 8 feet long and probably 2″ in diameter!?! BLHAHAHHA. HEY! Can we borrow Mama Cat!?! We frequently have mole problems. Our dog is a little to “foo-foo” to go after them.

16. OMSH

    PlusToo - Momma Cat was here when we moved in. We started feeding her. I think she had fended for herself for a while. She killed one of our hens - she’s afraid of nothing. But she’s learned that we’ll shoot her with a BB Gun if she touches the hens, so she leaves them alone.

    We had her fixed and got her shots and keep her on Revolution, but she isn’t necessarily OURS … we just feed her and keep her healthy! HA!

17. SmocknMama

    OMSH - just for those who might not get the *ahem* joke, Holley is my bestest friend EVER! She’s been there for me more than any of my family ever has. I call her friend, but she is my sister more than most could understand. Had my little Harry been a girl, he would have been a Holley.

    I’m still trying to talk her into blogging - I really think she should, don’t you?

18. OMSH

    Oh c’mon SmocknMama … you could have let them wonder a little bit more. :)

    Holley and her big guns.

    And yes, of course, Holley should blog.

    Is there any reason a person should not blog?

    DID YOU HEAR THAT MR. OMSH?

19. Holley

    Holley does not blog because she is basically computer illiterate. Can hardly tell where to turn the thing on. Good thing I have four children working for the CIA in computer hacking.

    About the guns, what can I say, I live in the deep south. Learned to shoot before I learned to drive. Wait I still don’t know how to drive.

    Smocknmama keeps telling me that she is going to help me set up a bloggity but I can’t get her to answer her phone. PPLLTTT

20. andrea from the fishbowl

    *shudeer*
    This makes me REALLY glad to be living in a country that is frozen for the better of the year. :)

21. andrea from the fishbowl

    lol - I meant to write *shudder*
    Clearly I haven’t had enough coffee and my hand is spazzing.

22. OMSH

    Holley - Meet her where she’s at … email her and she’ll get back to you real quick! heh hehe

23. Lanna

    Those people had absolutely no sense of humor, did they. Margaritas were definitely called for though. Did the kids get virgin ones? ;)

24. OMSH

    andrea from the fishbowl - when I don’t have enough coffee my brains spazz up too … no problem. :) In about 4 weeks I’ll be ready to join you in frozenland.

    Lanna - virgin margaritas? What? That would be an atrocity. Don’t you know we start our children young around here?

    JOKING!

25. Lanna

    Hey, I was trying to be polite and legal. ;)

    I *still* drink virgin magaritas (or more accurately, Shirley Temples). Of course I’m still lactating, but I’m still lame so that doesn’t really matter. What’s sad though? My birthday is Cinco de Mayo. My 21st birthday was on a Friday. In a college town. And my ex-fiance refused to take me anywhere or go anywhere with me - you know how many free things I could’ve gotten that night? Argh. Stupidity at it’s finest.

26. SmocknMama

    OMSH & Holley - uhm, yeah. Phones?
    Portable.
    Dead.
    Lost.